Replace Fear with Faith

Today we were able to go to sacrament meeting and the last meeting of church. During the middle hour I felt the desire to go as a family and visit my Grandma Parry. She was just recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. We had a really nice visit. Her legs were really swollen and she could barely get around on her own. I was so thankful to visit with her. We talked about how she has always been such a great example to me and how her strength and determination has helped her make it through her own health challenges. She was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis at the age of 55. She has struggled for years with this auto-immune disease. But through it all she continued to swim or ride her bike to keep her joints moving. 

Today grandma told me that she wished she knew what to expect. She wanted to know how much time she had left on this earth. I could tell she was scared by the unknown. I told her that when I was diagnosed with this lung disease, I too was scared. We talked about how sometimes in life we don't or will not know the answers,  but that we must just trust in the lord, have faith, and stay positive because we are not on our own timetable but only on our Father in Heavens. 

Today made me think about these past 16 months and how I have waited to find something that would help me find some relief with this disease. We have had many prayers, fasting, priesthood blessings, and through it all I knew that we still had to wait upon the Lord to enable His will and not ours. No matter how bad I wanted this trial to end, I knew that until we all learned what we needed to and grew the way the Lord wanted us to  that this trial wasn't going away.

Today I was very strong for my grandma during the visit and kept upbeat and positive. I know she worries so much about me and I feel so blessed to have been feeling so good this past week so that I could ease her mind and tell her that I am stating to have much better days.She was very happy and relieved to hear about my improvements. 

As a mother and grandmother you never stop loving or worrying about your kids and grandkids. Today I realized just how important it is to replace all of your fears with faith and trust in the Lord and his timing!