Never Surrender

Yet another day and another trial…. Yesterday I went to visit my Grandma with my mom, daughter, and granddaughter. She was so happy and excited to see how much her great, great granddaughter has grown. It was  great visit. She was very much at peace and told me she has lived a great life and that she is ready to go be with grandpa.

Grandma is the only grandparent I have left. She is 90 years old and has lived with Rheumatoid Arthritis since she was 55 years old. She has had many other illnesses and injuries over the years but she has never stopped exercising until just a few months ago. She was diagnosed with skin cancer about a year ago and had a spot on her forehead removed twice this past year. Last week she started to turn really yellow. They went in today and found that she has pancreatic cancer. They put two stints in hoping to relieve some of the drainage but they said due to her age and severity of it they are not able to do anything else other than make her comfortable. They will start hospice this weekend.

We are so grateful she is not in any additional pain from this cancer. She is very much at peace for the first time, since grandpa passed away, three years ago. I remember at his funeral, as we closed his casket, she kissed him one final time and whispered to him, "Don't worry I will be there soon." My heart ached as she said her goodbyes to the man she loved and took care of till the end of his life.

I am so thankful for eternal families. I could not even imagine life after death without our loved ones. I know our loved ones are our guardian angels and are just a hug away. They are surrounding us, lifting us up in our time of need, and celebrating our good times right along with us. Although it is a very difficult thing to say goodbye to the ones you love, I will forever cherish their influence in my life.


I will be forever impacted from my grandma and her strength and endurance she showed while struggling with her own health challenges during her life. She never gave up, she never surrendered to the disease inside of her. She influences me each day as I struggle with my own disease. When I am in pain, or feel like I can't go on any longer, I think of her. I think of her riding her stationery bike every day so that she could continue to walk and not be bed bound. I remember for years her going to the recreation center to swim every day well into her 60's. She has never given up on herself, her body, or her life. I will cherish the legacy and example she has been to me. She is and will always be a great inspiration and example to me!

Never surrender to the disease inside of you, never!