Inspired by T.O.L.B.

Tomorrow is Shaniah's 16th b-day! I am so excited for her. She is so ready to drive and date! She has her first real date planned in two days! I can't believe just how fast my baby girl is growing up! Where did these past 16 years go. Boy did time just fly by! It just seems like yesterday I was bringing home by beautiful, brown-eyed, tons of thick black hair, little girl!

  Looking back I am so thankful for all the wonderful memories we have had together. She is maturing and becoming such a beautiful daughter. I am so proud of her and her hard-work, commitment, and dedication she has given to her Lacrosse team. They have only lost one game this year and are in the play-offs. There first game is next week on Friday. This team has been such an amazing example of leadership and what it means to work together as a team. This team has taught her  there is no "I  in Team."

Shaniah is only a sophomore but has been blessed since a freshman to have made the Varsity team. She has worked extremely hard on and off the field and has been fortunate to be able to get a great deal of playing time during this season!  She loves this sport and is learning what it means to work together and support one another to accomplish a common goal!

I am so thankful for this team and what it has taught Shaniah. She tells me that the entire season their quote is "TOLB" Till Our Last Breath! This team has set their sights on taking state and they are only 3 wins away from their goal! They have worked, practiced, and played every day together for the past 5 months. Their motto is 0-0. Meaning no matter what the score is they only can focus on the score being tied at all times. It helps them work hard and never let-up or give-up. The seniors on this team have been a great example to her and have shown her how to be a leader. Shaniah will always remember these wonderful girls!

In life I think we all need to fight whatever we are battling Till Our Last Breath!  We need to remember to never let-up or give-up just as this team has this past season. I know that this quote has inspired Shaniah, but has also inspired me in having and enduring this disease. 

I know I will fight this disease until my very last breath!

Adversity Makes Us Stronger!

Today was a very cold and windy day. J'Dee played baseball at 4:00 and Shaniah played her lacrosse game at 5:00. Lucky for us they were both in Lone Peak and only about 7 minutes away from one another. I went to the first half of J'Dee's and then left my hubby there to continue to record the game. I made it to Shaniah's game and recorded her game. I had a good friend at the baseball field, a mom from one of the boys, text me updates on the game while I was at Shaniah's game.

 It was difficult to not see and only hear what was going on with J'Dee's game. It reminded me of last year when I was flat down in bed and only received text updates from some of the team parents about the game. It was extremely nice of the parents to keep me informed but it is just not the same as being there. I really missed it so much last year! I am so happy to just be there this year! Especially since it is my sons last year of playing!

Shaniah won her game  and as they finished, our good friends on the team told me to hurry and go to J'Dee's game and they would bring my chair, blanket, and Shaniah over to the game when they finish with the coach. I hurried off the field and b-lined it to the game. I was so thankful because just as I arrived, I was able to see J'Dee up to bat.

The game was tied in the bottom of the 9th inning. They had already went two extra innings and before the game was over they went a full 12 innings before the other team scored one to win. It was a difficult game for the boys to lose by one. But I told my son that "Adversity Makes You Stronger." I told him I have learned this the hard way this past year. I told him we can't always win or do amazing things. We all have to have bad days or bad games or bad years. I had to remind him that baseball is only a game but it can teach you  about life.

You will have ups and downs in life, just as you have in baseball!  Somedays you are on and somedays you are not! I reminded him it is better to not focus on what we can't or didn't do but rather on what we can or did do that matters!  Keeping a positive perspective through whatever we are dealt in life will really help us be happy and grateful through it all!

Cherish Every Moment!

Spring is such a busy time of year for us. The sports our kids have chosen to participate in seem to  peak during spring. Tonight we actually had no games and I was able to get the much needed rest I needed. How thankful I am for that because tomorrow we have two games at the same time for J'Dee and Shaniah. It looks like my hubby and I will be splitting up and I will have to borrow my brothers video camera so that both of us can take video of each game.

I have also been asked by my daughters lacrosse team to do their highlight video. Both of these teams look like they will be playing in the state tournament and so I have to make sure that one of us are there to record the highlights. I am so thankful to my Father in Heaven who is allowing me the blessing of better health at this time and has allowed me to be able to be to my children's games. 

My heart is so full of joy and happiness for the ability I have to be able to be there for each of them. I have not missed one game this year and I have been do determined and have done everything possible just to be there!  

Because the cold is so hard on me and causes me to flare I look like the abominable snowman at the games. In fact, one of the mom's came over to me last week and told me her younger son (who was wearing only a light jacket) said, "Look at that lady, (pointing to me) and said why is she wearing so many layers?" We both laughed and she told me her husband gets the same way because he has a disease too. We both agreed how the cold can really flare us up and keep us out of the next days game if we don't take care of ourself today!

Although I might look like a bundled up snowman at these games and sometimes the only thing you can see our my eyes… I know my kids are so grateful to have their #1 fan be at their every game! It is not so much about the game, as it is showing my kids I want to be there for them NO MATTER WHAT! I am so thankful for the opportunities I have to be able to show my kids just how much I love them and cherish every moment with them!

 

Replace Fear with Faith

Today we were able to go to sacrament meeting and the last meeting of church. During the middle hour I felt the desire to go as a family and visit my Grandma Parry. She was just recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. We had a really nice visit. Her legs were really swollen and she could barely get around on her own. I was so thankful to visit with her. We talked about how she has always been such a great example to me and how her strength and determination has helped her make it through her own health challenges. She was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis at the age of 55. She has struggled for years with this auto-immune disease. But through it all she continued to swim or ride her bike to keep her joints moving. 

Today grandma told me that she wished she knew what to expect. She wanted to know how much time she had left on this earth. I could tell she was scared by the unknown. I told her that when I was diagnosed with this lung disease, I too was scared. We talked about how sometimes in life we don't or will not know the answers,  but that we must just trust in the lord, have faith, and stay positive because we are not on our own timetable but only on our Father in Heavens. 

Today made me think about these past 16 months and how I have waited to find something that would help me find some relief with this disease. We have had many prayers, fasting, priesthood blessings, and through it all I knew that we still had to wait upon the Lord to enable His will and not ours. No matter how bad I wanted this trial to end, I knew that until we all learned what we needed to and grew the way the Lord wanted us to  that this trial wasn't going away.

Today I was very strong for my grandma during the visit and kept upbeat and positive. I know she worries so much about me and I feel so blessed to have been feeling so good this past week so that I could ease her mind and tell her that I am stating to have much better days.She was very happy and relieved to hear about my improvements. 

As a mother and grandmother you never stop loving or worrying about your kids and grandkids. Today I realized just how important it is to replace all of your fears with faith and trust in the Lord and his timing!

Giving Back… Baseball Team Video

Today I spent the day with my hubby. We made a highlight video of my sons baseball team from this past weeks games. I was so excited to make share this video with the boys and their parents. Since J'Dee is a senior this year, as parents we all committed to do something.

Back in February when all the parents met I was in a pretty rough place physically. My husband went to this meeting alone and only volunteered what he knew he would be able to do and what I could do.

Before this disease I was the type of person to help with team parities, team b-b-cues, team awards, and even senior night. I was pretty much a crazy woman trying to be everything for everyone all of the time! Since having this illness I have learned to limit a great deal of things. It has been hard to say no because inside I still have that desire to help do it all! What has really helped me is to focus on what I CAN DO and not so much on what I can't. When I take the time to guard myself and protect my own health it allows me to save all of my energy and strength for what matters most in my life.

So my hubby knew I loved to do movies using videos and pictures. He knew that would be something I could do. He volunteered to take pictures of the season and told them his wife would make the team video for the varsity/ senior team. I was excited to be able to be a part of things for our sons senior year.

Since starting to improve these past few weeks I have been so blessed to be able to make it to every game. My hubby has been taken pictures of the boys, I have been taking video. How grateful I am for being so fortunate to be able to do this. Because we have had so many pictures and video each week from their three games, we thought it would be a great way to motivate and inspire the boys to create a highlight video of the week. We made our first one last week and the boys and parents loved it.

In fact, one of the parents missed their son's home run because they could not make it to the game and his mom just cried as she was able to watch it for the first time on our highlight video.

I told her the reason I wanted to do this was not only to motivate the boys but also because last year I missed a great deal of my sons games due to this illness and I know what it is like to not be able to be there for each game! This was my way of giving back something that I can do! It really makes my day knowing my little contribution has helped others.

Here is the video we finished from this past weeks games!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wt_-He9fH84

Great Moments… Just Make My Day!

We went to our son's high school baseball game tonight. It was a close one. It was tied in the bottom of the 7th inning with two outs, and two runners on base….and guess who was up? Yes, my son J'Dee… and boy was I nervous!!  Watch and see what happened…. it just made my day!! 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49Hev_Fq5tk

Time to celebrate!

His walk-off hit scored the winning run! Such a proud mama moment!!! 

I was so thankful to feel good  enough to be there for him and record it on video!!!

I Can Only Imagine

Today I had an appointment in Provo to have my blood taken to repeat the tests to see how my hormones, thyroid, adrenals, liver, kidneys, inflammation, and my immune system were doing. These tests determine the supplements I need to be on.

My mom and daughter both had plans today. They did not know that either of them had plans for the day.  They assumed that the other would take me for my tests. But lately I have started to feel better,  I wanted to prove to myself and to them that I could do it alone! I did not tell anyone  because I knew they would change their plans, plus I wanted to give them a break and just see if I could do it.

I started out and about 5 minutes into the 25 minute drive I had this overwhelming feeling of peace and gratitude come over me. I was so overcome by this amazing feeling of being able to finally be independent again after so many months of having to rely on others that tears started to flow heavily from my eyes.

I poured out my thankfulness to the Lord. This feeling reminded me of a song. I have loved this song but these past few months I have only imagined how amazing it would be to feel somewhat normal again. Today I actually felt it! I don't take any credit for myself in this healing process but instead give all credit to my Lord and Savior who carried me when I needed him most and now is leading me on the road of healing. I am forever grateful for Him.

I Can Only Imagine

Where I am Needed Most

Today I had energy and was excited for the day. I went to my chiropractor with my mom, both daughters and grand-daughter. It was fun to be all together. We went to lunch before dropping my youngest daughter off at school. She injured herself in lacrosse so we have been taking her with us a couple times a week.

After we dropped my daughter off at school today, we dropped by to get some groceries. I had my grand-daughter in the shopping cart with me, while my daughter and mom were shopping in other parts of the store. I have learned with this disease that when you go to the store, you have to make choices of what isles you really need to go up and down. I don't window shop anymore or walk up and down isles. I make a short list and then plan to only go to those area. If I don't I can exhaust myself or throw me into a big flare. One thing I have learned is that I have to remember and plan to save enough energy to get myself out to the car and home. I have been so blessed to have my family (usually my daughter or hubby) load and carry my groceries in for me. I am so thankful for such an amazing and caring family!

Today while I was shopping and a  woman stopped me to say hello and ask me how I was doing. She was the mother of one my 2nd graders that I taught when I was teaching 15 months ago. We talked for a few minutes, I shared briefly with her what I had went through and how I am finally seeing some progress. She  teared up several times as we talked because she knew how difficult it was for me to give up teaching . It was so difficult to quit back then and leave what I had worked so hard to accomplish.

Since then I have learned that having good health is so important. Without your health you are not able to be there for the ones you love. I have learned that although there are many good things in this world you can and would love to do, it is more important to take care of yourself and be healthy  for the ones that matter most.

Going back to school, getting my Elem. Ed. degree, teaching 2nd grade, and loving those kids were a big part of my life. I enjoyed it tremendously and it will always be something I cherish. Whether or not I will ever get well enough to go and teach again someday, I do not know, but what I do know is that the  Lord has a plan for me and as I trust in him, he will guide and direct me to be doing what he wants me to do. I am just grateful I was able to get through school, graduate, and have the opportunity to teach before being diagnosed with this disease. I will always cherish teaching and making a difference in those little ones, but I do know that I am  where I am needed most right now!

He Knows Us, One By One

This video explains my extreme gratitude to my Savior Jesus Christ for His help He has given me this past year. He has lifted me from my bed of pain, comforted me in my days of suffering, and helped me to find joy and happiness through it all!

 He loves each of so much that He was willing to bleed, suffer, and die for all of us so that He would know exactly what we would need in order to make it through our struggles in  this life.

This video is a celebration of our Savior and the joy and happiness he can bring into our lives.  He heals and loves us one by one!
No one, other than our Father in Heaven, knows or loves us like He does. 

One by One by Hillary Weeks

Just an All-Around Great Day!

What a great day today! Filled with great weather, good news, laughter, and good times!

Good News from my x-rays today! Scar tissue and granulomas are still in my lungs but seems to be less bright than they were before. My scans that have always been in the 60's out of 100 are now into the 70's. I am starting to feel better and better each day. My doc. said that usually this is a slow process, but she is so surprised at how quickly my body is showing progess. Especially on x-rays. She said that it usually takes a lot longer than just two months. I have been feeling a slow progression these past two months in how I feel, but now I have proof as to why I am starting to feel better.

As I got the news today, I remember back when our families had a special fast. We prayed so hard to be able to find something that would help give me relief. I was told in numerous blessings that I would find healing and it wasn't until after that special fast that pieces started falling into place.  A few days after our fast  I was led to this chiropractor.  The week after that we found the infected root canal. Once my body starting getting adjustments the nerves started responding which has finally allowed all of the supplements I have been taking to start working! 

So thankful for this fast and for my amazing  family and their support in taking me to these two a day appointments for the past 2 months! Everyone is starting to notice a difference in me. Chiropractics was just one more piece of the puzzle on my road to healing!

Before                 After

Spine is becoming straighter than before and lower back it also doing better.

The focus area will now be on my mid-back due to the unchanged area. She believes that as my spine is trying to return to normal in my neck and low back my mid back is compensating. Due to the nerves that are pinched in my mid back are not allowing my lungs and other organs to work at 100%. I am so hopeful that as I continue to treatment for a year or two (as per my doctor) I will find relief and healing!

Neck is not 14 degrees off anymore it is now only 9 degrees off.  I now only have to go

three times each week to the chiropractor, but I still have to have two adjustments each of those days. YAY!!!

    

My head is not 12 degrees forward it is only 8 degrees now

Still more work on my neck but I am having headaches only 10-14 days instead of 3-5 days per week.

Tonight after dinner Landee played with her daddy! 

She loves our dog Tillee and we love watching her laugh as she plays with him!

      

It was also spring break today and Kim and J'Dee went fishing for wiper. 

J'Dee landed a 3 lb wiper fish.

They had fun together on the lake!

The True Meaning of Easter, Because of Him

Happy Easter, may our thoughts and hearts turn to him on this glorious Easter Morning!

The Meaning of Easter; Because of Him

A Little Piece of Heaven

Watching Landee made my day today! My daughter and her hubby are teaching swim lessons this summer at our pool. They had sign-ups for 5 hours today and I was able to spend most of the day with Landee.

We had fun playing and just being together. My favorite part was rocking her to sleep. It is amazing how relaxing it is to rock and love a baby to sleep. It does something to your soul. It is like a little bit of heaven in your arms. Rocking a sweet spirit that so recently left our Father in Heaven is truly an opportunity I try to capitalize on whenever she is around. It comforts and calms my pain each time I hold her.

Her is a picture collage from this weekend. She is such a doll and we love and cherish her so much!

Loving her new Easter shoes from grandma(me)  that matched her outfit perfectly today!

Such mischievous eyes

HAHA!

Laughing at Grandma

Spending the day with Landee was the so much fun today!

 Shaniah, my youngest daughter is spending the weekend with a friend in Disneyland this spring break. She is having a good time and loving her new Minnie Mouse ears! She said her favorite ride is the new "Cars" ride. She absolutely loved it! We can't wait to go back and enjoy it as a family!

The Best is Yet to Come

With this past weeks events of having two members of my family learning they have cancer was quite a bit overwhelming at first. I know they must have felt as I did when I found out; why me? why now? You even begin to question yourself, "What did I do or no do to deserve this?" Finding out a difficult medical diagnosis can sometimes feel so overwhelming and even very scary at first.

I know because I have had these feelings, thoughts, and questions are all part of the grieving process. There is one thing I know beyond a shadow of a doubt. No matter what we are given to endure, no matter how many difficulties we must suffer, or how long each one will last, we do have the opportunity if we choose to be strengthened, refined, and lifted up beyond anything we can imagine as we put our faith and trust in the Lord and Savior to help us make it through.

I know if we endure  and face all the heartaches, trials, and tribulation with a happy and willing heart we will be blessed beyond anything we can imagine and will live with the hope that the Best is Yet to Come!

Finding the missing piece because the best is yet to come!

Never Surrender

Yet another day and another trial…. Yesterday I went to visit my Grandma with my mom, daughter, and granddaughter. She was so happy and excited to see how much her great, great granddaughter has grown. It was  great visit. She was very much at peace and told me she has lived a great life and that she is ready to go be with grandpa.

Grandma is the only grandparent I have left. She is 90 years old and has lived with Rheumatoid Arthritis since she was 55 years old. She has had many other illnesses and injuries over the years but she has never stopped exercising until just a few months ago. She was diagnosed with skin cancer about a year ago and had a spot on her forehead removed twice this past year. Last week she started to turn really yellow. They went in today and found that she has pancreatic cancer. They put two stints in hoping to relieve some of the drainage but they said due to her age and severity of it they are not able to do anything else other than make her comfortable. They will start hospice this weekend.

We are so grateful she is not in any additional pain from this cancer. She is very much at peace for the first time, since grandpa passed away, three years ago. I remember at his funeral, as we closed his casket, she kissed him one final time and whispered to him, "Don't worry I will be there soon." My heart ached as she said her goodbyes to the man she loved and took care of till the end of his life.

I am so thankful for eternal families. I could not even imagine life after death without our loved ones. I know our loved ones are our guardian angels and are just a hug away. They are surrounding us, lifting us up in our time of need, and celebrating our good times right along with us. Although it is a very difficult thing to say goodbye to the ones you love, I will forever cherish their influence in my life.


I will be forever impacted from my grandma and her strength and endurance she showed while struggling with her own health challenges during her life. She never gave up, she never surrendered to the disease inside of her. She influences me each day as I struggle with my own disease. When I am in pain, or feel like I can't go on any longer, I think of her. I think of her riding her stationery bike every day so that she could continue to walk and not be bed bound. I remember for years her going to the recreation center to swim every day well into her 60's. She has never given up on herself, her body, or her life. I will cherish the legacy and example she has been to me. She is and will always be a great inspiration and example to me!

Never surrender to the disease inside of you, never!

J'Dee's Homerun!

J'Dee had another baseball game tonight. They lost last night and J'Dee had hit a ball right to center field fence. It was only 1 foot from being a home run. But tonight HE DID IT! He hit a home run out of the park which helped his team win the game!

It was such a highlight for him tonight. In fact it was good for all of us! We enjoyed watching him do so well and be so successful! He has really been struggling lately and needed this boost of self confidence. How grateful I am for him and the light and joy he brings into our lives.

J'Dee's Homerun Video Clip 2014

Loving and Supporting Others in their Trials

One day everything is heading up and then the next day you learn some devastating news! We learned that my hubby's sister has thyroid cancer. She just found out today and will be having her thyroid out in order to remove the cancer.

We were able to go and visit her and her family tonight! We wrapped our arms around her and told them how much we loved her. I knew how she felt and could empathize with her. We talked for a very long time and I tried to share some things that I have learned to help her make it through these next few weeks. My husband and brother-in-law were able to give her a blessing tonight and she was promised she would be able to recover from this. It would take a lot of time but that she would make it through it all.

After tonight, I would have to admit that I was actually grateful for the opportunity to learn, through my own illness, how to help others struggling with physical challenges. It has helped me to know how to reach out to others and how to help them. One thing that has really helped me is to know just how much others do care.  Showing love and support for others struggling can really keep those who are sick on even their most difficult days! I hope that I can keep on improving  and that I can be there for my sister-in-law.  Tonight I told her my motto, "I can do hard things" and shared some other things that I hope will help her!  She is a very strong woman and she can beat this, I  just know she can!

Flood Gates are Opening

I went in first thing this morning to my chiropractor. We were both amazed at how well I was doing considering I was gone for 6 days. I did see a chiropractor while I was down in Vegas two times, but she thought I would be in a much worse condition, like I was last time I went on a trip.

I told her that something is changing. I told her that I am starting to respond quicker from my flares, have migraines every 10-14 days instead of every 3-5 days, and have more energy than I have had with this disease.

I tried to explain what is going on inside me and all I could relate it to is that I feel like since doing chiropractics twice a day, starting 8 weeks ago, I feel like she has opened the flood gates in my body and things are finally starting to flow and work inside of me.

Before I started with chiropractics I felt as if I was stopped or damned up. I was taking so many different supplements and doing other things that should have been working but it seemed like nothing was getting through! I told her that I finally felt as if all the supplements were finally working. She explained what was happening to me, she said that because my body is not compressing as many nerves that control the lungs, immune system, etc. then my body has a better chance of becoming healthy and now it can start to heal itself.  

I really can't explain what is happening inside me, but all I can say is that I can feel things are changing and changing for the better!

 I am so grateful to be having better days and to know that better health could be just around the corner!

Happy 23rd Birthday Kaylee

Today was our daughter Kaylee's 23rd birthday! She has been such a joy to have in our family. She is our swimmer and swam in both high school and college for fun! She is married to a wonderful hubby named Andrew and they have given us the best gift ever! Ireland Stacie Powers!

Kaylee graduated as an Registered Nurse and has really been my own personal nurse these past 16 months. I don't know where I would be without her help these past few months! She moved from Logan to Bluffdale to help me out when I got sick! How thankful I am for such a caring and loving daughter who loved me enough to always be there for me through it all! I hope I can repay all that she has done for me!

We have enjoyed and loved being only 7 minutes away from her and her family and honored to be such a part of their lives!

Here is a video for her on her birthday to tell her how much we love her!

Kaylee's 23rd Birthday Video

We drove home from Las Vegas today and it was okay until the St George to Cedar City climb. Because of the elevation difference and we were heading into bad weather, it once again started to compress my lungs and cause breathing issues and pain. Here is a picture we took as we were traveling. I look pretty rough… but my hubby and I just laughed  at the picture which helped make it through it all just fine! The good knows is that we both agreed that I actually did better on this trip home then in February. I think things are definitely getting better a little each day!

Having Fun with J'Dee and Each Other

This weekend was so much fun spending it watching J'Dee play baseball.  I made this little slideshow from some pictures we took of him playing! Love you J'Dee and enjoy your senior year! 

Go class of 2014!

J'Dee Fuller 2014 Baseball Vegas Tournament

Tonight we went out after the games to Kim's favorite prime rib steak house. Its called the Prime Rib Loft inside the Orleans hotel. We have been waiting to celebrate our 26th wedding anniversary. We waited to celebrate our anniversary for 3 weeks so that I could take Kim to his favorite place to eat!

We enjoyed every minute of it! Here is a crazy picture of us after we stuffed ourselves! We look reddish pink… We must have eaten too much prime rib! haha!

Love you honey!

Friends, Fish, and Flare-ups =FUN

Today was spent at the baseball games with many good friends that we have made over the years. Our boys have played together since they were 5 years old. We enjoyed the nice weather and loved watching our boys, now 18 years old playing their senior year in high school.

Crazy kids…been friends since they were 5!

It was a long day but our boys wanted to go to dinner together. We went with out with our good friends and our two boys. It was a long wait for dinner but we really enjoyed the time together. Dinner took a very long time and by the time we got back home to the hotel I was in a pretty rough flare. But it really didn't matter because we were with our boys, our good friends, and eating fish! We were having fun and I knew that this was once again another things that would all be worth a flare!

Missing Landee

I think this is the very first time we have been away from Landee for more than 3 days! We are missing her something terrible! We miss our kids too but our little grand-baby really steals our hearts. On the day we left out of town we had to stop by their house to see her before we left! We took these pictures so that we would have something to look at when we missed her! We really hoped she would not forget us while we were gone!

We miss her and can't wait to get back home to see her!!

Our little Landee is such a doll! 

Yes we are obsessed grandparents…Thats for sure!! haha!

Secret to Live Life Happy!

Today I received a text from a young woman in her teens. She knows my teenagers and is one of their friends. She found my phone number from a friend of mine and sent me a text today. She will never know how much this text meant to me. I was really struggling in Nevada with a lot of pain today. We had just left the chiropractors office in Vegas when I received this text. She told me she had spent all morning reading my blog and thanked me for the example I was in finding happiness in such difficult times. She really lifted my spirits and I felt happy that I could help and inspire her today!

This text may be so small and meaningless to her but it really meant the world to me. Somedays I seriously feel like I whine too much about my pain and suffering. I really try to use this blog to find peace in the process and to try to focus on all the blessings in my life.  I am grateful and humbled by her kind words today!

I found this quote  that really sums up what I am striving to do each and every day! I am just trying to life life happy no matter what comes my way. I seriously think thats the secret to enduring our challenges in this life.

One More Piece of the Puzzle

Today as we went to the chiropractors office in Vegas that my chiropractor referred me to while on this trip, I once again obtained another  priceless bit of information to help me on the road to healing. I have found while on this journey to finding good health again,  I have been only allowed one piece of the puzzle at a time.

Whether it be taking away gluten, eggs, and dairy,  the candida cleanses, the supplements, fixing hormonal imbalances, controlling the adrenal glands, supporting the liver and thyroid issues, removing an infected tooth, or twice a day chiropractic adjustments, they have all played a part in finding a way to put this disease into a remission like state.

Today, I learned that the air in my home needs to be filtered. This specialist lived in Utah for many years and with the Copper mines, sand pits, and the extremely bad air quality he said it is a must especially for a person with a diseases that causes lung issues. He recommended a specific company that has the best filter for homes. He said this filter can replace all the bad air with clean air every 20 minutes.

I was super excited about this and knew we would have to save up for one due to the cost, but if it helps me not flare up so much we both agreed it would be worth every penny!

After the adjustment, my headache started to subside a bit. I made another appointment for tomorrow. I knew I would need it to help me make it thorough the rest of the week. I really wanted to enjoy all of my son's baseball games!

Trials Give Us Traction

Today my hubby and I left for Henderson Nevada to watch our son play in a high school baseball tournament. Before we left for the trip I made sure we went in to my chiropractor to be adjusted. Both her and I were a bit apprehensive about me leaving for 5 days, as I have been going to see her two times a day for the past 7 weeks. I have even had to see her on a few weekends as well. I have been showing improvement and feeling it too. She knew this trip would put me backwards but understood why I was NOT going to miss my son's last senior year of baseball!  She even was so kind as to show my hubby some techniques to use on me to help get me through the pain. She also recommended a chiropractor in Vegas for me to see if I need one.

On the way down to Nevada it seemed okay, but by the time we got to St. George my body was again having some difficulty adjusting to weather and altitude. It seems like any type of pressure changes whether high or low, seem to really affect my pain and breathing issues.  By the time we made it to Henderson, I was starting a pretty rough flare-up. We called the chiropractor and made an appointment for the next day.

When we got to our hotel we ended up on the 14th floor. Which after a few times of using the elevator proved once again to be way to much for my lungs to handle. So we had to change rooms to a lower level.

As I contemplated about this, I thought back a couple years ago when I could do all of this without ever having to think about it! It is amazing how are bodies can regulate and adapt to changes when we are healthy. It made me think of a conference talk that was given by Elder Bednar a couple days ago. He spoke about how our "trials give us traction." He spoke about a man who had a truck that  slid off the road and was stuck in the snow. He was all alone in the mountains. The man then decided to fill the back of the truck with firewood, which was the reason for the trip in the first place, then with the weight of the heavy load in his truck it began to give his truck the traction it needed to become unstuck and move forward.

This reminded me that as we go through life we are given trials, challenges, and difficulties that make us feel as if we are stuck and are unable to go on any longer. As we go through these struggles we have to find ways to give us the traction we need to pull ourselves up and on the right road again. What we used to give us traction is up to each of us. What we learn in the process also depends on what we use to give us that traction.

Many days I have found my Father in Heaven and my Savior Jesus Christ as my greatest source of traction. They have lifted, strengthened, and allowed me to feel their love as I endure this disease. My Family is also helping me bare this heavy load. Many times they have had to cook, clean, and carpool me to many Drs. appointments. I do not know where I would be without any of them. They all have played a vital role in helping me find the traction I need to make it through!

As I have struggled to find the traction I need to make it through this trial I am so thankful for the opportunity I have been given to create a deeper and divine relationship with my Savior. By choosing to rely upon the atonement to make it through has helped me to find the peace and comfort I need each day.

Only The Savior Knows

Yesterday during conference a talk by David A. Bednar really helped me.  As I have suffered with pain over these past 16 months I have found myself many times on my knees pleading with Lord to help me get through my pain. I have literally felt the Savior carry me in my most deepest hour of need. 

I remember a couple weeks ago as I was going through many different biopsies and procedures, which left me in a huge flare each time. Finding myself up with pain in the middle of the night, and even with my husband holding me, was not even enough to give me any relief or comfort. I asked him to hand me my phone which sat by my bedside. I remember having the impression to go to my blog and watch the video I posted from March 23, entitled "His Hands." I cried as I watched the video and literally felt my pain lift as I allowed the Savior to carry my burden for me. I am so thankful for a Savior who suffered everything we have or will go through in this life and knows exactly how to succor us in our most difficult of times!

Letter from my Husband…Grateful in our Circumstance

Today was an extremely wonderful day! Not only did I get to wake up, enjoy making breakfast with my kids but I also was able to watch conference today! But the very best thing that happened to me today, and one that I will never forget, was the letter my hubby wrote me before conference today.

Kim, my husband had been reading my blog lately and decided to write me a letter responding to what I have been going through. Never in my life have I felt the spirit so strong from a letter. I cried like a little baby while reading it. I even shared the letter with all of our kids and they said, are you sure Dad wrote this? haha!

Letter from my sweet husband: This letter is very dear and personal to me, but my hope is that by sharing it with you it will strengthen you like it did me.

Honey,

I read all of them today. Keep writing, remain strong, Love me and all of my imperfections, and have FAITH! 

Something is happening to you, to me, to our family. All of us will be strengthened, uplifted and sanctified, no matter what imperfections we have. It is somehow for our good.

This time of year is probably my most favorite time (Spring). It brings new life to everything around us.

I want you to look for the blessings of new life; a baby, a baby rabbit, goat, alpaca, chick (JK). Blossoms, flowers, the song of a bird, the sound of rain or better yet the smell of rain.

 All of our senses will be enlightened in the next few weeks including your physical trials. We will all be strengthened, uplifted and sanctified, if we stop, and make ourselves aware of the smallest changes. Our body, mind, our hearts and our spirits will come alive again.

 I know the things we are doing to help you are working!

I know your body will positively respond, and you will return to normal health and strength. You may not be 18 years old again, but I like you more now. I have trained you the way I want you. Ha Ha! 

You are my life, You are my soul and my Eternal Companion! You are the best Mother and Grand mother any one could ask for. I truly have felt your pain. I could not and probably would not be able to endure the things you have gone through this past few months.

I went on a Mission for two years and gave my life to the Lord. I suffered, felt like I was alone, cried, prayed, and eventually returned home a different person. It seemed at the time the blessings were few, but looking back I realize the blessings were more than I deserve. I continue to receive blessings and always will.

You are on a Mission! You will suffer, feel like you are alone, cry, pray, and I KNOW YOU WILL RETURN TO BEING WHOLE AGAIN! But you will be stronger and more blessed than you think you deserve for the rest of your long life and for Eternity! 

The ragging storm will subside and calm waters are ahead, because of your faith and righteousness and the Love of God. 
I love you, have a great day
Love, Kim

I read this letter right before we started watching General Conference. I was so touched by the very first talk by President Uchtdorf that I felt this letter and what he said went hand in hand with one another.

Grateful in our Circumstances

Above is just a clip of what he spoke about. For the full version of this amazing talk visit:

Full Video and text of Grateful in our Circumstance by Pres. Uchtdorf

I knew the Lord was blessing me so richly today through both my husband's letter as well as the talk by Presidnet Uchtdorf.   I am eternally grateful for the strength and growth that is happening to both me and my family!

Lifted Up

Today when I woke up I was so drained physically but because of last night I  knew I would have the strength to make it through anything because of the spiritual strength I received last night. I was so buoyed up and lifted last night that I came home feeling as If I could conquer the world.

Its amazing how our physical bodies can be in such weakened condition and at the very same time our spirits can be so strong. I believe that our inner strength, willpower, and determination come from the strength of our spirits. I know that because I felt that last night and today. I felt my spirit carry me when my physical body was to drained to.

Today I was once again recharged and uplifted even more by watching the Church of Jesus Christ of Ladder Day Saints General Conference. I felt as if so many of the talks were directed right towards me and my own family. I hung on every word of each speaker and felt as if I could not get enough.

I know the Lord speaks directly through his prophets to each of us. I felt this many times as I watched conference today.
I am very grateful for the feeding of my spirit today. I really needed to be lifted up. I am so grateful to have the opportunity to listen to a living prophet and his apostles to help us know what the Lord wants us to hear.

Here is the link to watch conference if you need a lift.

https://www.lds.org/general-conference?lang=eng