F.A.M.I.L.Y.

We had a family birthday dinner for J'Dee today. Kaylee, Andrew, Ireland, Shaniah, J'Dee and Kim were all there. Plus Kaylee and her hubby brought along a couple of nephews to join us. It was super fun having dinner and FHE together. J'Dee was in charge of the lesson tonight and had us watch this mormon message video. It is a great reminder how we should never judge one another, gossip, or put others down in any way.

Such a great reminder to always show Christ like love to everyone at all times and in all places.




http://youtu.be/FYVvE4tr2BI

I was grateful for J'Dee's lesson tonight and the reminder for all of us to show more love and kindness to everyone we associate with. After his lesson we played a giant bowling game with a jumbo blow up bowling ball and pins.

Life can be so much fun when you have your family to have fun with!

Happy 19th Birthday J'Dee

Today was my son J'Dee's 19th birthday! I seriously cannot even understand how 19 years could have flown by so fast. I swear it was just yesterday that he was by blue-eyed, blond, no front teeth, little baby boy!

He was such an active baby. When he was 18 months old he knocked his 2 front teeth out by jumping off the couch onto his older brother, C'Jay's, head. J'Dee's two front teeth landed right on the top button of C'Jay's baseball cap. They both bent straight back. We had to have them both removed and had false teeth with a retainer made for him.

He continued to be so active and crazy that he also went through several sets of false teeth. which were very expensive, until finally we decided to just let him go around with no front teeth and wait until his permanent ones grew in.

He would call his teeth his "beef!" It was so funny to hear him talk without his front teeth. He was so fun to try and keep up with. He was a non-stop boy and has been ever since. We have totally loved spending these past 19 years with him and can't wait to spend many more birthdays with him!

I made this little slideshow for him on his birthday highlighting the past years accomplishments! We love you J'Dee! Hope you have a great birthday!

So Much Fun in One Day…...

Today I was so excited to watch Ireland all day today. Kaylee had appointments and her hubby had to work. I was really looking forward to having the baby all to myself today. She is so much fun and makes me so happy even though she is so busy! One thing I realized today is that is a darn good thing we have kids when we are young! haha

Here our some pictures of what we did today!

FUN IN THE SUN

Ireland at the beginning of the day…just look at those mischievous eyes….boy am I in for it!

Ireland wondering why I am taking a picture of us together...

This first picture she looks so innocent and sweet just laying there so cute…. an hour later she had all the knobs pulled off my electronics and had blue  screened my TV! 

She had me laughing and chasing after her all day today... thats for sure!!!

After the inside of my house was destroyed I decided it was time to take all the fun outside……..

                    Ireland loving her swing!                                                 She can't get enough of her slide!

Ireland even found our noses for the first time today!!!

    

She loves giving Aunt Ni Ni (Niah) kisses over and over again...               

Her favorite game is playing peek-a-boo with Uncle Dee Dee. (J'Dee)

By the time 5:00 p.m. rolled around and after Kaylee and Andrew picked her up, I was dead on the couch for the rest of the night…. and apparently after talking to Kaylee, Ireland went to bed right after they got home and slept for 13 hours straight! I guess I wasn't the only one who was dead tired!!!!

SO SO SO Much fun in one day…

A Day Without Laughter is a Wasted Day

Today was a beautiful day outside. I loved the sunshine and loved being able to stay at home today. My   son J'Dee is having a birthday in two days and I wanted to finish a DVD I have been working on for him. I was super excited for him to watch it. It has footage from  his first big deer and his goose hunts recorded on it. I totally enjoyed finishing this for him today.

Later in the afternoon Kaylee and her family were having family pictures taken down in Lehi by a old bridge. She asked me and my hubby to come to help get Ireland to smile.

It was a very stressful event for them….what pictures aren't stressful. They wanted to get some cute family pictures as well as pictures for Ireland's 1 year old birthday.  It was such a fun time watching them take pictures. BUT….it was very, very hot,  the mosquitos were everywhere, the balloons were popping,  the props were breaking,  and Ireland would have nothing to do with any of it.

It was like we were in some kind of family sit-com. Such a fun time we had down in the bushes, Kaylee was upset because the pictures hadn't turned out like she wanted, and her hubby was just done with the whole thing. Not to mention that they took more pictures of Ireland screaming than anything else.

Although I tried to do what I could to help everyone there, I knew I could only do so much. I think that today was similar to life in general.

We all have preconceived notions are about what we think our lives will be like or how things will turn out, when in reality the unexpected always seems to be there to test and try us even when we think we have everything in control.

I believe this is how the Lord reminds us that we are not the ones in control of our own lives. It seems that we can and will face unexpected trials and tribulations at any time in our lives and they seem to come at the most un-opportune times.

But today I saw that we all have choices to make when we are faced with obstacles…we can get angry, become frustrated, give up, yell, scream. rant or rave….just like Ireland did... as we express our emotions of dislike and frustrations from our current situation. Or we can find a way somehow or someway to find the positive in each situation, even if it is finding something to laugh about.

For me it was watching everyone smack mosquitos off their cheeks, sweat buckets from the heat, and watching Ireland throw a complete tantrum while wearing a tutu and pearls holding lipstick and a blush brush. (She really did look like a spoiled little diva) haha! But nonetheless is was comical watching this whole scene play out.

Once we got back to the car we stripped the baby down to her diaper and I gave her a drink of my bottle of water. We started playing the blowing water game with each other and in two second she was laughing and playing once all the cameras were put away! So funny! Of course once its all over she become her happy little playful self!

I think life is too short to not make the most of it. Work hard to make the best of it and laugh at all the hard times no matter what comes your way! Plus how can any funny memories be made if we didn't have the hard times to look back and laugh at!

Families Are Forever

Today as my daughter and I were driving in the car, I asked her how seminary was going since this was her first week of school. Her normal response would be, "so boring, or I don't know." But today it was different.

She began to tell me how nice her teacher was and how he calls all the girls sweetheart. She told me how kind and caring he is. She also began to tell me what she learned about Joseph Smith today. I was so excited to hear her testimony of this and was once again reminded of the temple visits I had made over the past few weeks.

I knew that whatever I need help with the answer is to just, "Go to the Temple!" I knew that the Lord was blessing her because I had put her name in the temple and had prayed so hard for her.  It is so amazing to see my daughter growing and learning what the Lord would have her learn.

How eternally grateful I am for forever families and the opportunity I have to go to the temple and plead for help in behalf of my children. I love my Father in Heaven and the many blessings he has been bestowing on my children.

The Lord is Listening..

Today I spoke with my oldest son on the phone today. He has been in Kentucky working for the past 6 months. He has also been struggling spiritually. He has had a difficult time making it to church since he has been there because they work 6 days a week and Sunday is his only rest day.

He told me that he decided that this next Sunday he was going to church and was taking two of his friends with him who have not been to church for over 10 years. He told me that he was taking Saturday off to play and then use Sunday to go to church.

Tears once again came to my eyes, and my mind was immediately reminded of the temple visit. I was reminded again of the opportunity I had to put his name in the temple and how I have been praying for him over these past few weeks. I knew that once again my prayers were being answered and my son's heart was realizing what he needed to do in order to receive the blessings the Lord had intended for him.

I knew that I must love him unconditionally, not judge or tell him what he needs to do, but only support him and promise him the blessings that will come as he tries his best to do whats right.

What a blessing it is to know that the Lord is truly listening and answering my prayers in behalf of my son today!

Love & Pray for Your Children

I woke up yesterday, which was Sunday morning very excited to make breakfast with my two teenagers while my hubby was at work. I was also hoping and praying that my children would choose to attend church with me today.

Since I became sick it has been really hard on some days to make it to church when I feel so sick or are in a lot of pain. My hubby works for church security and works several Sundays each month. My teens have had a hard time going to church alone as they are trying to develop their own testimony and it has been difficult trying to go it alone when I or my hubby aren't able to go.

I have tried really hard these past few months to make it to church so that I can be there for my kids. Even if it causes me to flare for a few days. I pray so hard for the strength to be able to make it each week. I usually can not make it the entire three hours before flaring up in a great deal of pain. My kids can see my pain no matter how hard I try to hide it and they are always so good to make sure I get home when I need to.

My daughter and I went to the temple yesterday and I had the opportunity to put my childrens' names in the temple. I knew at this visit that I must love them unconditionally no matter what choices they make and remember that the Lord is the master in control and is giving them these trials for their own spiritual growth. I knew that I must allow my kids to struggle and just love and pray for them.

When I woke up Sunday morning my son told me he was going shooting with some friends today. Although I was disappointed at his decision I  was reminded of my temple visit yesterday. I knew that I must not get angry or make him feel guilty. I knew that I must continue to show love for him and pray for him. I know he was testing me to see what I was going to do. He is 18 almost 19 and was expressing his own independence. He did tell me he would be back for church. I told him that I loved him and he could see that I felt sad. He came over and gave me a hug and he told me not to feel bad. I just told him I loved him and that I was worried about him. He left for shooting and I said goodbye and told him to be very careful.

Later I called my son about 45 minutes before church was going to start, as he had told me he was going to be back for church. I asked him if he was on his way home. He told me they had to go farther than was planned and he would not make it back. I tried really hard to not get discouraged or get angry. I knew I needed to continue to pray for him and show him my love. It was a really hard to not get upset or even feel worse about him not doing what he was supposed to be doing on Sunday. I know knew how Father in Heaven feels each time we make a bad choice. However he never stops loving us and is always patient and kind to us no matter how many mistakes we make.

So my daughter and I went alone and were sitting in sacrament meeting. It was about 20 minutes into the meeting when someone moved my bag that was sitting on the chair next to me and sat down next to me. It was my son J'Dee. Tears came to my eyes as I put my arms around him and hugged him. I asked, I thought you weren't going to make it back to church today?" He then replied, "Well we decided we were done shooting, and once you called I decided we should hustle home."

I knew at that very moment that the Lord did hear and answer my prayers today. He softened a heart and helped J'Dee know where he needed to be without me having to nag him to come. I was also reminded of the opportunity I had to put J'Dee's name in the temple and I know that the Lord is mindful of him and his struggles and his seeking after him. But only if I allow my son to struggle the way the Lord wants him to so that he will learn and grow on his own.

I know prayers are answered, temples are blessings, and families are forever. We must be patient and love our children no matter what choices they make. I am truly thankful for my son and my hope and prayers are that he will continue to realize how this gospel can truly make him happy.

God Loves Broken Things...

It is Sunday morning and I woke up early with the impression to prepare our Family Home Evening lesson for after church today. As I started to pray as to what I should teach I was led to LDS videos that teach about how we can repent through our Savior's atonement. I knew I needed to create a lesson around how the Saviors atonement can lift our burdens.

I felt so impressed to let my family know that every one makes mistakes and that no one is immune from them. I also know we were given free agency so that we could have the opportunity to learn and grow from making good and bad choices. When we make good choices we are happy and can feel the spirit with us. When we make incorrect choices we may not feel happy and can even lose the spirit. But I believe that God gave us this agency to learn from and if we do not know the bitter than how will we ever realize the sweet.

I think the hardest thing to do as a parent is to watch your own children struggle to make their own choices. As a parent you feel so happy when they choose the right, but are left feeling defeated when they choose to do things you would not want them to. 

Yesterday, as I sat in the temple pondering over my children and some of their choices, I came across a scripture. This scripture said we need to minster which means to love and pray for them. I felt such a strong prompting in the temple to show my absolute Christ-like love to each of my children as I pray diligently for them. 

The following scriptures were just what I needed to hear today.

3 Nephi 18

 30 Nevertheless, ye shall not cast him out from among you, but ye shall minister unto him and shall pray for him unto the Father, in my name; and if it so be that he repenteth and is baptized in my name, then shall ye receive him, and shall minister unto him of my flesh and blood.

 32 Nevertheless, ye shall not cast him out of your synagogues, or your places of worship, for unto such shall ye continue to minister; for ye know not but what they will return and repent, and come unto me with full purpose of heart, and I shall heal them; and ye shall be the means of bringing salvation unto them.      

D & C 112

13 And after their temptations, and much tribulation, behold, I, the Lord, will feel after them, and if they harden not their hearts, and stiffen not their necks against me, they shall be converted, and I will heal them.

I realized today that I need not get upset or feel discouraged or down due to the decisions that my children are making. I must realize the Lord loves them and knows exactly what they must go through in order for them to grow and become the person He wants them to be.

Even after all I can do to help my children, it is ultimately their choice and I know my Father in Heaven needs them to grow and develop into the person they need to become. I know that God Loves Broken things and will mend and mold my children into whom He wants them to become! I know that I must be patient in this molding process and show my unconditional love and support and never give up on them. Christ never gives up on any of us so why would I give up on them!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?list=RDlWG5_o1F5gc&v=KAjkRkF2yEs

Finding a Way…to the Temple

I woke up this morning realizing that I hadn't went to the temple this week. I set a goal a few weeks ago to do this weekly. It was house cleaning day and both me and the kids were doing some cleaning. I knew however, that if I over-did cleaning then I would not be able to go to the temple today. I asked my kids if they would like to go to the temple with me. Shaniah, my youngest said she really wanted to go.

I tried to not work to hard in the house but rather helped Niah with her jobs so we could go earlier in the day. As we were driving to the temple, Shaniah told me that she was not ready physically or emotionally for school to start in two days. We talked about this and I told her that temple will be a great place to go to find peace before school starts. I told her I would put her name in the temple today.

First, we went to the Oquirrh mountain temple, she wanted me to do baptisms with her. We went in and found out there was a very long wait of youth waiting to do baptisms. I was willing to stay and wait but once again my sweet daughter said,"Mom, I know you will not be able to stay this long with your health." I tried to argue with her and told her I would be fine. But she said, "Its okay mom, lets try another temple."

At first I thought she just wanted to go home, but she was willing to go to another temple so that I would not have to be there too long and flare myself up. We proceeded to the Jordan River Temple and found it busy, but not as long of a wait as the Oquirrh temple. Shaniah did baptisms and I went and did initiatory. It was so wonderful to feel the spirit in the Lords house today. I knew I was where I was supposed today. I not only helped others receive their temple work but also gave me the much needed spiritual guidance and direction I was seeking for today!

Today I would have to say my gratitude was for my daughter who though of others before herself today and made sure we were able to participate in the temple ordinances.

I am also extremely grateful for having the Lord's House open to us from 5:00 in the morning to 10:00 at night. His house is open to us more often than even our chapels or other places of business are. I am so grateful to have been able to go to the Lord's house  and felt the much needed peace and joy there today.

President Monson said about temples:

The world can be a challenging and difficult place in which to live. We are often surrounded by that which would drag us down. As you and I go to the holy houses of God, as we remember the covenants we make within, we will be more able to bear every trial and to overcome each temptation. In this sacred sanctuary we will find peace; we will be renewed and fortified.

Temples, The House of the Lord

I Pray When…..

Last night I found myself praying. Praying for strength to endure, praying for strength to overcome, and praying for each one of my children. I know that the Lord can make much more out of my own life,  as well as lives of my children than I ever could. All I know is that I must pray for them and just love them and He will do the rest. This video reminds me that we must PRAY to our Father in Heaven in all things! I know He hears and answers every prayer in His own time and in His own way. 

I am so grateful to have this power of prayer on my side each day whenever I need it. May we all take advantage of the power of prayer our Father in Heaven so graciously gave to us. 

I Pray When...

Lord is 100% in Control

Today I went back to get the results of my 3 month blood tests. I went not even expecting anything other than good news. I had a very positive attitude and was excited to hear that all my levels would be starting to improve.

I have to say that most of my levels were improving, from my hormones, thyroid, liver, and kidney tests were all starting to improve due to the supplements he has me on. The test I was most excited for was the candida test. I had not been able to get that down to a measurable level until I started taking essential oils. Since these oils the candida levels in my body were coming down. In fact before I started the oils my levels were greater than 100. Which means they were too high to even be measured. I took the oils for 4 weeks and my levels were down to 43. I went off of them for 6 weeks and I seemed to have many more lung flares due to the inflammation of the sarcs in my lungs. I went back on the oils and was re-tested 2 weeks ago. Today I found out my levels were even lower (40). I am pretty sure my candida levels went back up those 6 weeks I was off the oils and once I went back on them they started to go down. I also was able to see just how much more my sarcoidosis flares up when I am off these oils as well.

So along with all this good news the doctor also was very concerned about a new test he had run on me. I am not sure why he had these tests performed but he must have had a hunch. Today I found out I am insulin-resistance, or pre-diabetic. As he told me this news I didn't think much of it until he started to ask my family history of diabetes. I told him my dad has been a type 1 diabetic since he was 16 years old. I also told him both of my grandmas were type 2 diabetics.

I was so shocked to hear this as my diet has been pretty darn good. I know I have not eliminated all fruit or sugars but since this diagnosis I now have to be gluten and dairy free as well as fruit and sugar free. If I am not absolutely careful with what I eat and take the additional five prescribed supplements my body can easily slip into a full blown diabetic state.

I have to admit at first I started to feel a bit down, feeling that I had worked so hard these past 18 months at trying to feel better just to know gain another diagnosis. I felt as if I was talking one step forward but then two steps back.

As we left the office I started to talk to my oldest daughter who was with me and as a nurse herself told me, "Mom you have to really work hard at trying to not allow your body to become a diabetic because with Sarcoidosis I don't think your body could handle both diseases!"

I started to tear up at first wanting to cry at the overwhelming thought of taking even more supplements and becoming even more strict on my already limited diet. I thought of how careful I have to be so that I did not become a full blown diabetic but also with the realization that no matter how hard I try to avoid it, genetics could be the determining factor.

I tried not to focus on the what-if's and the overwhelming process ahead. I prayed in my heart to be strong and focus on the good. As I did this I remembered what the doctor had said about how being insulin resistance promotes inflammation in the body and how this could be another reason adding to all of the sarc flare-ups that I continue to have.

I felt an overwhelming gratitude and the thought came into my mind saying, maybe this is just another piece in the puzzle of uncovering what could help me with this disease.  I thought back of how this Doctor had told me about the research he had done on this disease and how the latest research has proven that an infection in the body caused by microbes or bacteria, is what is leading to having sarcoidosis.

 I also remember the conversation we had about a nation wide research  which is currently going on all over the United States. I told him I was contacted to be a part of that study. They are taking 400 sarc. patients and studying the cause and cure for this disease. The reason for this study was because there is just not that much known on this disease. I also told him that the study was looking at microbes, bacteria, and fungus as being a part of the cause leading to infection in the body as a cause of this disease.

He was super excited to hear that what he was asking me to try was something that science was finally trying to prove. He also reminded me to take the SIBO (small intestinal bacteria overgrowth) test this next week and he will call me with the results. His hunch is that because I have candida I could also have this overgrowth, in which I do they will treat my entire body with a broad spectrum antibiotic for a few weeks that will kill all bacteria and then we will start a very strict regimen to build up the gut with good bacteria. His hopes is that by doing this we can eliminate the infections that are hiding in the lymph system and lungs that might possible rid myself of all the inflammation and flare-ups.

I know that the Lord is completely 100% leading and guiding me to finding these things that could help me, I know that He is in control and that I must trust in Him and this process completely. I know that if I do I will continue to find improvement and pave the way into putting this disease into remission and hopefully sharing with others who have sarcs what has worked for me.

Trusting in the Lord completely and this process, doing my part while patiently waiting and accepting whatever new diagnosis comes my way is what I must do to show Him that I will humbly do whatever it takes and overcome what ever I am given. I know I am never alone and He will always be there for me! I am thankful for doctors who care, family who loves me, and a Father in Heaven who hears and answers my prayers!

Mom….Walk With Me….

Today I was super excited at the thought of going to BYU Women's Conference. I was especially looking forward to taking my 16 year old daughter with me. It would be her first time ever going and I was excited to have her feel the spirit from the classes taught there.

My first thought was that "We will go all day and have so much fun, basking in the warmth of the spirt and learning all their is to know about everything"……. well that WAS my idea at first.

But THEN reality sunk in… Because I woke up with a sever migraine due to my lung flare from overdoing, I knew I could not miss my chiropractor appointment today.

My sweet and kind daughter drove me to my chiro appt. and then another 45 minutes to the women's conference. I was kinda worn out from the drive but I was determined to enjoy this day with her. We were about 2 hours late to the conference and drove around trying to find a closer parking spot to help eliminate some of the walking I would be doing. It was packed but we were able to find a decent spot.

Once we parked, registered for classes, had lunch then we were off to our classes. I decided to stay with my daughter and go with her to her classes, not only because she didn't want to be alone, but also because all of her classes were in the same building.

During the classes we laughed, cried, and felt the spirit inspire us to never give up  no matter what we may face in this life. I wanted to stay longer but my body was telling me otherwise. I did not want to mention to my daughter but she knew.

After the third class, my daughter could see in my eyes that I needed to go home even though I really wanted to stay for more classes. She looked at me and said, "Mom did you remember you still have to climb that huge staircase and walk all the way back to get to the car?" I did remembered the long walk here and that huge staircase so relunctantly, we decided to head back.

As we approached the staircase, my daughter took my purse from me and as I tried to climb the same speed as everyone else, my breathing became very rapid. I started to get very winded and my daughter grabbed my arm and said "Mom, Walk With ME", she was not embarrassed of me and the speed I needed to go, in fact she would place both feet on each stair in a very slow like manner.  We laughed as we both climbed that staircase together as people zoomed around us. We joked and enjoyed the journey up that huge hill together.

 Now she could have went ahead of me and I could have tried to push myself and climb fast, but she knew what I could and could not do and once again she was reminding me of my limits and staying by my side every step of the way!

Once we got to the car, I was completely tanked from the climb, walk, and the heat. She told me to lay back and rest and she knew her way home. I was so grateful for her and the love she showed to me today. She stayed by my side every step of the way. I know in life that we can only make it through if we have someone to walk with us. Whether it be a child, a spouse, a friend, or even the Savior we all need that someone to WALK WITH, in order to make it through our most difficult times in life.

I hope I can always be there for her as she was there for me today. Love you NIAH!

Today my daughter was the one who Walked With Me….

I Stand All Amazed

Today I spent most of the day listening and talking….listening and talking to: my youngest daughter about her life,  to my son and his challenges as he is traveling on a road trip with friends, to my oldest daughter about her struggles, to my mom about her fears and frustrations, and to my extended family about their lives in general.

I have thought about how this day was spent. I did nothing but listen and offer words of encouragement. Although at times I did not feel very important or achieve any great feat,  I did try to be there for the ones I love. I realized that when we try to help others it allows us to forget our own pains and sufferings as we reach out as the Savior did.

I tried my best to be there for those who needed me most today! I tried to be that someone to listen, talk, and love them no matter what. I know that no matter what we go through in life our Savior will be right by our sides to lift and strengthen us.

Our Savior is the perfect example of this. He is always there for us whenever we need help. He will strengthen us, ease our pain, and lift our burdens. All we must do is ask for his help and I promise He will be there! I can definitely say that I Stand All Amazed at everything he has done for me!!

http://youtu.be/Pzmw6DDEodQ

The Way We Feel in The Temple…...

Today after my two chiropractor appointments, I had my mom hurry home so that I could save my energy and strength to go to the temple with my youngest daughter Shaniah. I was so looking forward to going. It has been a while since I have felt good enough to go. 

Shaniah asked me to do baptisms with her. As we sat in the temple we felt the spirit so strong. It was so peaceful and rejuvenating. I sat and pondered on the beauty of the special promises we make to our Heavenly Father in the temple.

As I sat next to my 16 years old daughter, my mind went back to when I went through the temple with my oldest daughter.  I felt such an overwhelming feeling to share that experience with my younger daughter. She told me that she couldn't wait until the day she could get married in the temple and how she wanted to be sealed in the Salt Lake Temple. I was excited to hear how she wanted to get married in the Salt Lake Temple because this is where my mom and dad were married as well as my hubby and I.

As we basked in the warmth of the spirt inside the temple I realized just how much I need to have this feeling weekly. I made an inner commitment to try and make it to the temple weekly. I knew that I needed to find a day each week and use all my physical energy and strength to get to the temple and exchange it for an increased spiritual strength.  Shaniah also made a commitment to come more often and bring her dates there as well.

Although not many words were exchanged in the temple today, there were a great deal of teaching and learning going on for both of  us! I am so grateful we have temples so close to our home and the blessings they are in our lives. 

He Will Provide the Way

Today I went to a doctor who monitors all my levels every three months. I went just thinking I would be just having all the blood drawn for all the tests and then like usual return in two weeks for all the results.

This doctor is a D.O. and is a MD but specializes in treating conditions by using as many natural supplements as possible. I have really liked what he has helped me with. My oldest daughter drove me to my appointment.

We were in the room talking when the doctor came in with a student resident doctor. My doctor asked how I was doing and I told him that I still have good and bad days and how I am trying to manage everything. He then went on to explain how him and the student doctor had been doing a great deal of research and discussion on the latest research and treatments for Sarcoidosis. He began to share what is going on in the scientific medical field currently.

He told me there is some new research on a condition that is under diagnosed and treated called SIBO. It means a small intestinal bacteria overgrowth. He went on to explain how this condition leads to auto-immue illnesses because of the infection it causes inside your body. He explained the testing and in-depth and expensive treatment to cure this conditions if you have it. He recommended me testing for this condition and if I have it and then begin treatment for it. Treatment would be extensive and last for several months, he suspects I have it as my candida levels have been high which have all been part of this as well.

He especially thinks I might have this condition because of how the Essentail Oils have helped my candida levels come down. He also mentioned to keep on these oils as they are the only thing that has helped my candida decrease.

I have to admit I was blown away by the sheer fact that he would research all about this disease for me. Even when this type of disease is not his specialty. I felt so blessed today and felt so much hope that there might be a cure for what is causing this disease that I have. He said if SIBO is what is causing this illness then it would definitely be putting out the fire and hopeful leading to less flare-ups.

Although this past week has been a roller coaster ride for me, today I realized just how important it is to put your trust into your Father in Heaven and He will the provide the way even when you least expect it! This video explains my gratitude and joy I feel toward him today!

http://youtu.be/bq2y0U5Fg_8

The Future is as Bright as Your Faith

Today I just enjoyed being a mom and grandma. My hubby was off work today and he took me to my two appointments at the chiropractor. Once we got home we set up the trampoline we had bought  for our kids and grandkids, we swam with our some of our kids and their friends. We even swam with our grand baby Ireland. She enjoyed swimming on the pool float toys with Grandpa and I.

We then made hot dogs and gluten free cookies for all the kids that were here. Although we only have 1 grand baby. My hubby and I talked about the future and how much we have to look forward to! Having all these extra kids here today and playing with them reminded us just how much fun we will have with our own grandkids someday.

I don't have to sweat the small stuff today and worry that I can teach school or teach primary! But instead focus on the here and now and look to the future with faith. Although there are many challenges we may face each day it is our choice whether we focus on them or look to the bright futures of tomorrow.

I choose look to the future with faith keeping my eye on what really matters most!

It's Okay To Be Happy (Video)

I felt a renewed strength today. I felt peace and happiness return as I left the feelings of regret and disappointments behind. I prayed hard for the strength to enjoy life as it comes not expecting or wanting more than what I can or should do.

Life is too short to let our challenges get the best of us and try to make us feel as if we can't or won't ever be able to enjoy life like we used to!

Today I knew that I just need to be happy! Happy for all the little things in life that makes it great! This song is just a reminder that is is OKAY TO BE HAPPY!

http://youtu.be/BpzYGnrvj_0

Sanctify Yourselves!

Today I went with my mother to my two chiropractor appointments. I was pretty quiet on the drive in and at my appointments. I contemplated the events of yesterday and how they had made me feel today. I was still not ready to admit that I couldn't do what I thought I could. I hadn't shared with anyone how I felt pushing through the entire day just to leave myself struggling in pain and resentment. 

It wasn't until the ride home that the tears came and the strong willed person started to crumble into a humble submissive child once again. I finally started to share with my mom the events of yesterday. I told her how sad it made me to find out one more thing that I couldn't do again. I thought for sure I was ready for that. I poured my heart out to her as I relived yesterday. I told her that I would not tell my family just how much pain I was in or how bad I felt. I just kept pushing hoping to beat the bad flare that I had brought on myself by overdoing and fasting. I told her that I knew it was selfish of me but I told her that I just didn't want to stop trying to do the things I used to do. I told her that how was I supposed to know that I can't do them unless I try!

Although it was very tough admitting another thing I could not do, I did however come home and work on my visiting teaching supervisor calling. As I called the sisters on my list to check on them and get their visiting teaching reports, I found myself on the phone with a dear sister who has been struggling with her own health challenges. I have been friends with her over the course of her illness and have tried to be there for her as much as I could. 

Today when we spoke on the phone she admitted to me that she was unable to do her visiting teaching due to her illness. I told her I totally understood just how she felt and that it was just fine. I told her there is a time and season for everything. I shared with her my experience of trying to teach primary yesterday and just how hard it is to not be able to do something that you really wanted to do. We both related to one another today and found peace in knowing we were not alone in our struggles. I reminded her just how important it is to focus on what we can do and not on what we can't. (Now I just need to remember my own advise) haha!

It is funny but her and I were a lot a like before getting ill. We both were the do-it-all type of personality. We involved ourselves in everything and tried to help anyone we could. I told her I think that these health trials are the way the Lord is trying to slow us down and give others a chance to serve. 

Today my mom also gave me some wonderful advise. She told me of another woman in her ward that has been struggling with her own difficulties. They were talking about trials and said how the Lord gives us these challenges so that we can become sanctified. I wanted to learn more about sanctification so I found this definition:

"Sanctification is a process and gift from God which makes every willing member holy. In the scriptural canon of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints one reference to sanctification is given in the following Book of Mormon scripture: Helaman 3:35, "Nevertheless they did fast and pray oft, and did wax stronger and stronger in their humility, and firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ, unto the filling their souls with joy and consolation, yea, even to the purifying and the sanctification of their hearts, which sanctification cometh because of their yielding their hearts unto God."

After reading this I knew that every challenge we face in this live is sanctifying us. It is preparing us to become better and more holy than we ever could without these trials. I know that if we yield our hearts fully to God, He will bless and sanctify each of  us in whatever trials or hardships we will face.

Elder Jefferey R Hollland said: "Sanctify yourselves today for the Lord will do wonders tomorrow!

Just Not TODAY!

I woke up this morning excited to substitute for a primary class today. I was super excited to be able to teach again. I love kids and was so excited to prove to myself and my family that I could teach again. Once again my brain was running the show and telling me that teaching primary would be a no brainer. I have taught for years and thought this was going to be a piece of cake.  

Now this is exactly what my mind was telling me I could do. So I prepared for the lesson, went to church, and then to primary. My daughter volunteered to help me teach in class. I told her she could help with my first class but not the second because I wanted her to go to her young woman's class. 

Now I seemed to do okay during the 1st half of the class, but by the 2nd half, my lungs stared burning and pain was in full flare mode. My migraine was starting and the fatigue was setting in fast. 

Although I was starting to flare I knew that I could not just leave the kids alone. I stuck it out and pushed myself another 45 minutes. 

After church I walked in the door of my house and tried to put a smile on my face through the pain. My family seemed to see right through me but I still was too stubborn to show them that I couldn't do what I thought I could. I didn't want to admit to them that there was another thing I couldn't do anymore!!!!

But boy, was I not going to admit to them that I couldn't do it. I came home helped with dinner and then taught FHE. Afterwards…. I crashed big time. I felt as if a steam roller had rolled over me. I knew I had to quit being so stubborn and trying to pretend that I was okay and that I could do it all….. But just for today I wanted so badly to just pretend I was the old person I used to be…..  

The person that could do anything she wanted with never ending energy! Oh how I long for that person again! It is on days like these where I am reminded of my new normal. It is on days like these that I want to push myself past what limits everyone, including this disease, puts upon me just to see if somehow or someway I can do what I used to be able to do again! Is that really too much to ask for?

I know this sounds silly and sometimes even crazy but I don't want to give up the fight that is still left in me. I will fight this illness and battle each day in trying to get my old self back! I think that if we give in to the disease inside of us then that is giving in to hope. I have to have hope each day in order to stay the course and make it through no matter what I must face in this life. 

Maybe tomorrow I will admit I can't do it… but just not today!!!

Life is too Short to not Enjoy It….

Today was such a exciting day for my niece Karleigh. She was baptized today. I was so looking forward to supporting her on one of the most important days in her life. My kids and grand baby Ireland went with me today. It was at 9:00 am so I knew that I would make it just fine.

I was enjoying the baptism and also being able to hold and play with my grand baby. But by the time the baptism, confirmation, and brunch were over it was about noon and I was starting to tank big time. I knew I had to get home soon to rest and try to avoid an even more painful flare.

All in all it was a very good day. Although, I was enjoying myself and wanted to stay longer, and go to yard sales, I knew I must realize my limits. I think that is the hardest part about this disease. Is first to realize your body's limits and then follow through once it tells you that you are done. Its funny because my family can sometimes see that I am done way before I can.

I think it is because my brain is telling me that I can do this and do that, or go here or  go there. But my disease has a way of not allowing my body to be able to do what my brain wants to. I am learning to find a balance between what I want to do and what I can do. But it is definitely easier said then done.

Keeping a positive attitude and not focusing on what I can't do but instead embracing and enjoying every minute of what I can do helps me to stay happy and not get discouraged. Life it too short to not enjoy every single minute of it!

Live Like You Believe

Last night before going to bed my husband and I had our prayer together. In this prayer there were some very specific things we prayed for in regards to our youngest daughter. She was at a sleep over with friends and for some reason this prayer was asking for her protection and that she would be able to make good choices.

I found out later that it was at this very time that she was going through a difficult time as she was out with her friends. She later told me that her and her friends felt the prompting to pray and ask Heavenly Father for help. They did and they felt peace and were strengthened in order to get the help they needed.

Each of us were sent here to have free agency and as we use that agency we learn right from wrong.  I know first-hand how hard it is to watch the ones you love use this agency full knowing that what they will go through will and can be painful to them. But as their parents, we can't shelter them from opportunities for growth that our Heavenly Father has for them . 

I think the hardest thing as parents is to not be able to protect your children at all times like you would like to. Sometimes the only thing you can do for them is to pray for them and then have faith the the Lord will hear and answer your prayers. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that our daughter was protected and kept safe because of our prayers last night.

I found this video of a favorite song of mine. It reminds me how important it is to try and use our agency for good, but if we do make a bad choice, know that it is not over, you can repent, come back. and return because of our Savior and his beautiful atonement. How eternally grateful I am for Him and what he went through for each of us in order to allow us to return and live with him someday.

May we each learn to live like we believe and try to return and live with him someday!

Live Like You Believe Music Video