I know we all go through our own challenges and struggles but my hope was to share what I have learned about staying positive and grateful through it all!
In order to avoid me getting too emotional while speaking I felt is would be best to tell my story in a 3rd person voice. I did just that and it really helped me be able to tell my story without a lot of tears.
I was able to stay strong and share my experience with others. My hope was to share with others my story as open and honest as I could be. If my story helped just one person than it would be all worth it!
I know the Lord has given me this trial to grow and learn and then be able to share what I have learned to help others. I know my health doesn't allow me to serve in callings like I used to, but I can serve in others ways even if it is by way of being an inspiration to others.
I am grateful for the opportunity I had today and I know it is long but just in case you would like to read what I spoke about today here it is…………….
My
Growing Understanding of Gratitude
I have been asked to speak on GRATITUDE
When we think of Gratitude what is the first thing that
comes to mind?
BEING
THANKFUL FOR EVERYTHING WE HAVE…. RIGHT
Pres. Monson shared a talk about The Divine Gift of
Gratitude in Oct. Conference 2010.
1.
He spoke about the Savior and how he healed 10
leapers and only 1 came back to thank him. From this story we learned how
important it is to not forget to be grateful to Our Heavenly Father and Savior
Jesus Christ for everything we have been given.
a.
“When you
walk with gratitude, you do not walk with arrogance and conceit and egotism,
you walk with a spirit of thanksgiving that is becoming to you and will bless
your lives.” Pres Monson
2.
Another account of gratitude Pres Monson shared
was feeding of the 5000 with only 7 loaves and fishes. The Savior showed us
that when we show gratitude for what we do have and not on what we don’t …..
miracles can follow:
a.
“We have all experienced
times when our focus is on what we lack rather than on our blessings. “He is a
wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for
those which he has.” Pres Monson
For years this was my understanding of gratitude: To show my
thankfulness for things I have and to not to focus on what I don’t have. I have
tried my best to do just that, but it wasn’t until these past 18 months where I
have had the opportunity to gain a deeper understanding of what gratitude
really means.
Pres Uctdorf reminds us:
·
Perhaps focusing on what we
are grateful for is the wrong approach. It is difficult to develop a spirit of
gratitude if our thankfulness is only proportional to the number of blessings
we can count. True, it is important to frequently “count our blessings”—and
anyone who has tried this knows there are many—but I don’t believe the Lord
expects us to be less thankful in times of trial than in times of abundance and
ease. In fact, most of the scriptural references do not speak of gratitude for
things but rather suggest an overall spirit or attitude of gratitude.
I want to tell you a story about a little girl who had a
dream. This little girl loved children and dreamt of the day she would become a
teacher. This little girl practiced teaching by setting her dolls up on chairs
so she could teach school to them every day.
In the family she grew up in she was the oldest cousin and
would surround herself with all her little cousins reading them books, loving,
and nurturing them. This little girl
grew to become a teenager, and although she carried with her the normal teenage
attitude her love of children never faltered. Her dream of becoming a teacher
became even more apparent as she grew.
This girl would find ways whenever she could to love and
teach a child. In high school she volunteered at a local elementary school and
loved helping children how to read, write and spell. She loved it and knew from
that moment on she would do whatever it took to become a teacher who would make
a difference in the life of a child.
Life happened and before she knew it she graduated from high
school and started college to begin her life long goal of becoming a teacher.
But the Lord had other plans for her and soon she met the Love of her life!
They were married shortly after in the Salt Lake Temple. Soon followed 4
beautiful children whom she adored and treasured with all her heart! She loved, taught, raised, and nurtured them.
She put all of her heart and soul into these children whom the Lord entrusted
into her and her husbands care.
Although they had many of the same struggles as everyone
else when raising young children, they did their best to raise their children
the way the Lord would want them to.
Although she never
found time to finish college when her children were young, she never gave up
the dream of becoming an elementary school teacher.
As her children grew and started to make lives for
themselves she along with the support of her husband decided that she should
finish what she started and go back to school. She went back to school taking
only a couple classes at a time. She
took her school slow and steadily, as she did not want to place any burden upon
her family. It took her 7 long years to
finally graduate from college fulfilling a life long goal of hers. She was so ecstatic
at the thought of finally being able to do what she had always dreamt of doing.
In trying to decide where she should teach she prayed diligently
wanting to know where she should go. Her
answer came distinctly and directly, “You will GO Where You Will Make The Most
Difference”.
She thought at first how vague the answer was but knew the
Lord would lead her right where she was supposed to be. She began her dream job
at a local charter school teaching 2nd grade. How excited and happy
she was to be doing what she had waited her entire life to do!
It wasn’t four months into teaching that this woman started
to have some serious chest pain and breathing problems. She ended up in the
instacare/ER over 6 times in 3-month period. Each time they told her she just
had pleurisy and it would just take time to get better. By the 7th
trip to the hospital they took another x-ray to find permanent lung scarring
starting to develop. They immediately referred her to lung specialist, where a
CT scan was done, tumors were found, and a biopsy confirmed a rare disease
called sarcoidosis. After hearing this diagnosis she felt as if her whole world
came crashing down around her.
It was at this very time that this woman wondered what was
there to be grateful for? She asked WHY LORD, WHY ME? She wondered what had she done wrong? She had
tried her whole life to be good? She wondered why she had to sacrifice 7 years
of her life going back to school only to last 4 short months in doing something
she had waited her entire life to do?
Now as you can imagine this was a very difficult and
challenging time for her and her family. Not only were they faced with the
reality of living with a life long illness with no known cause or cure for this
disease, but also the uncertainty for what the future would hold for them.
There were very few options or medications that would help
her. The specialists even looked at her and told her that they were as
frustrated with this disease as she was.
This woman had a choice to make she could become angry,
bitter, and resentful to the Lord for what hand she was dealt, or she could
accept this trial with humility and show great faith and trust in the Lord. She
knew she had to find someway to show her gratitude to him NO MATTER WHAT she
must endure. She knew she could do hard things! She knew this was her trial she
was given and it was her choice to either let it destroy her or to strengthen
her!
Her family cooked,
cleaned, carpooled and drove her to the many doctors’ appointments in the
months that followed. This woman learned first hand that if she was going to
make it through this difficult challenge she needed to find a way to focus on
what she could do and not on what she couldn’t. She had to find peace in the
process and find joy in her new journey while trying to find a new normal for
herself again! She knew she could not do
this alone, she prayed harder than she ever had before. Her family fasted and
prayed right along with her. Her and her family waited patiently for several
months upon the Lord. As they waited they
could see that this trial was not going away, but witnessed first hand the Lord
lifting them up and strengthening each one of them in the process.
In trying to focus on what mattered most and trying to keep
a positive perspective each day this woman felt a strong desire to start a
blog. (She used it as a gratitude journal to share daily the things she was most
thankful for. On even her most painful days she would still try to find 5
things to be grateful for. She never gave up hope and tried to influence others
in any way that she could.
Each day as she waited patiently upon the Lord, Her dream of
teaching faded quickly as she had to let that part of her life go. She knew her
new life would not allow that type of routine again. However she was thankful
that she could still be a mom, wife, and grandma. She was changing from that
woman that could do all the physical things for them; like cook, clean, and
carpool to a mom that could now only do the talking, supporting, and loving
them. The reality of “You will go where you are needed most” was becoming
apparent as she could see that it was at home with her loved ones where SHE was
making the most difference!
As this woman was
learning first hand how to be grateful in whatever circumstances she was given the
Lord started leading her in directions, that she would have never thought of,
in obtaining help with her current health condition.
It was the Spring of 2014 and this woman was really looking
forward to General Conference. She had prayed hard to find help with her
current condition. Earlier that morning her husband had been reading her blog
and was prompted to write her a letter.
Hi Honey,
I read all
of them today. Keep writing, remain strong, Love me and all of my imperfections,
and have FAITH!
Something is
happening to you, to me, to our family. All of us will be strengthened,
uplifted and sanctified, no matter what imperfections we have. It is
somehow for our good.
This time of
year is probably my most favorite time (Spring). It brings new life
to everything around us.
I want you
to look for the blessings of new life; a baby, a baby rabbit, goat, alpaca,
chick (JK). Blossoms, flowers, the song of a bird, the sound of rain or better
yet the smell of rain.
All of
our senses will be enlightened in the next few weeks including your
physical trials. We will all be strengthened, uplifted and sanctified, if we
stop, and make ourselves aware of the smallest changes. Our body, mind, our
hearts and our spirits will come alive again.
I know the
things we are doing to help you are working!
I know your body
will positively respond, and you will return to normal health and strength. You
may not be 18 years old again, but I like you more now. I have
trained you the way I want you. Ha Ha!
You are my life,
You are my soul and my Eternal Companion! You are the best Mother and Grand
mother any one could ask for. I truly have felt your pain. I could not
and probably would not be able to endure the things you have gone through
these past few months.
I went on a
Mission for two years and gave my life to the Lord. I suffered, felt like I was
along, cried, prayed, and eventually returned home a different person. It
seemed at the time the blessings were few, but looking back I realize the
blessings were more than I deserve. I continue to receive blessings and
always will.
You are on a
Mission! You will suffer, feel like you are alone, cry, pray and I KNOW YOU
WILL RETURN TO BEING WHOLE AGAIN! But you will be stronger and more blessed
than you think you deserve for the rest of your long life and for Eternity!
Because of the love you have for Heavenly
father and your Savior you are promised these things. Through your faith,
blessings will pour down on you and your family. Your Savior loves you,
Heavenly Father knows you and is with you and blesses you with this blessing.
The Holy Ghost comforts you and will bring your body, spirit and mind, peace.
The ragging storm will subside and calm waters are ahead, because of your faith
and righteousness and the Love of God.
I love you! Have a great day
Love Kim
After this woman
read this letter she shed a great deal of tears as you could imagine. She then
turned on conference and the first talk of the day was by Elder Dieter F. Uctdorf.
Grateful in ANY CIRCUMSTANCE! This talk
was such another witness to her and confirmed everything she was going through.
She felt as if Pres Uctdorf was speaking directly to her.
·
“Some are facing the end of a cherished relationship, such as the
death of a loved one or estrangement from a family member. Others feel they are
facing the end of hope—the hope of being married or bearing children or
overcoming an illness. Others may be facing the end of their faith, as
confusing and conflicting voices in the world tempt them to question, even
abandon, what they once knew to be true. Sooner or later, I believe that all of
us experience times when the very fabric of our world tears at the seams,
leaving us feeling alone, frustrated, and adrift.
·
It can happen to anyone. No
one is immune
Pres. Uctdorf then went on to explain the key to making it
through any trial is to BE GRATEFUL NO MATTER WHAT!
·
He stated that “It might
sound contrary to the wisdom of the world to suggest that one who is burdened
with sorrow should give thanks to God. But those who set aside the bottle of
bitterness and lift instead the goblet of gratitude can find a purifying drink
of healing, peace, and understanding.”
This woman remembers that being grateful for things was not the
focus as much as it was to be grateful in any circumstance you must face in
your life.
·
“When we are grateful to God
in our circumstances, we can experience gentle peace in the midst of tribulation.
In grief, we can still lift up our hearts in praise. In pain, we can glory in
Christ’s Atonement. In the cold of bitter sorrow, we can experience the
closeness and warmth of heaven’s embrace.”
·
“We sometimes think that
being grateful is what we do after our problems are solved, but how terribly
shortsighted that is. How much of life do we miss by waiting to see the rainbow
before thanking God that there is rain?”
·
“Being grateful in times of
distress does not mean that we are pleased with our circumstances. It does mean
that through the eyes of faith we look beyond our present-day challenges.”
·
“This is not a gratitude of
the lips but of the soul. It is a gratitude that heals the heart and expands
the mind.”
As this woman listened to this talk and thought of her
husbands letter tears streamed down her face as she felt the Holy Ghost testify
to her of the reality of what it really meant to have an attitude of gratitude
daily. She knew that as she did this she would be lifted from her bed of pain
and discomfort only to find a renewed strength in her Heavenly Father and Jesus
Christ.
By now many of you might have figured out that this woman in
the story was me. I had to tell this story in 3rd person to try and
eliminate some of my tears.
One thing I can’t do in third person is to share my
Gratitude for my Savior in my life especially over these past few months.
Something I have learned first hand is that the atonement is very real and it
is not just used for us to repent, it covers so much more!
o “Thus, the Savior has suffered
not just for our sins and iniquities—but also for our physical pains and
anguish, our weaknesses and shortcomings, our fears and frustrations, our
disappointments and discouragement, our regrets and remorse, our despair and desperation,
the injustices and inequities we experience, and the emotional distresses that
beset us.”
o
“There is no physical pain,
no spiritual wound, no anguish of soul or heartache, no infirmity or weakness
you or I ever confront in mortality that the Savior did not experience first.
In a moment of weakness we may cry out, “No one knows what it is like. No one
understands.” But the Son of God perfectly knows and understands, for He has
felt and borne our individual burdens. And because of His infinite and eternal
sacrifice (see Alma 34:14), He has perfect empathy and can extend to us His arm
of mercy. He can reach out, touch, succor, heal, and strengthen us to be more
than we could ever be and help us to do that which we could never do relying
only upon our own power. Indeed, His yoke is easy and His burden is light.”
My testimony:
I want to close by expressing my sincere gratitude for my
husband, children, and parents. I could have never made it through any of this
without my family. They have truly been there for me every day over these past
18 months. Although we have had many difficulties throughout this process we
have learned to rely on each other, which has brought us all closer together. I
have learned what is means to allow others to serve you and not just to be the
one serving others. My children have shown such love and support towards me and
I have never felt closer to my husband than I do now. His love, compassion and
concern for my well-being is humbling to observe. He is my rock and my eternal
companion. I know he will be by my side no matter what.
Words cannot express the gratitude I feel for my Savior. What I
have learned over these past 18 months have deepened my understanding of the
atonement. It is real, I can truly testify of the power of it. I have witnessed
the reality of it many times as I have went to Him in pain only to be
strengthened and better able to bear the heavy load placed upon me.
I know I could never endure the pain and suffering that comes
with this disease alone. I am so eternally thankful to my Father in Heaven who
allowed his son, our Savior Jesus Christ, to not only atone for our sins but
also feel everything we must go through in this life. I know that He did this
in order to know how it felt and how He could best help each of us make it
through our own challenges in this life.
I have learned to try and
face every challenge with gratitude and thanksgiving no matter what
circumstance we may find ourselves in. I have also learned to not try and carry
your burdens alone, if we do then what the Savior did for all of us was in
vain. I know if we humbly ask our Father in Heaven for help and turn our
burdens over to the Savior, I promise you He will lift your heavy load and
strengthen you beyond anything you can imagine.
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