Growing Pains

Today I had a very painful breathing attack. I knew that the last few days would catch up to me sooner or later. I made it to church for a very short while. As soon as I got home my teenager decided to stress me out by having an attitude with me. My oldest son stepped in to divert the stress away from me and I went straight to my room to calm down. My son then followed me and about 30 seconds later my involuntary breathing attack began. It lasted for about 5 minutes and scared the both of us. I remembered him asking if he should call 911. I could not speak but just held up my finger to signal, just wait it out. After the attack I felt pins and needles in my hands and feet as well as weakness and exhaustion all over my body.

I have not had an attack for the past two weeks and was pretty excited about that. I have learned from the specialist that I have no control over it happening. It's hard to explain but it has to do with my adrenals, thyroid, and pituitary glands not be able to produce the cortisol needed to combat any stressors, good or bad.  Because the inside of my body is under constant stress from this disease, when I encounter outside stressors my glands are unable to balance my body out on its own, so my nervous system takes over and creates breathing attacks and pinched nerves in my neck causing migraines, not to mention the increase pain in my lungs due to the rapid breathing that occurred during the attack.

I am grateful for my oldest son who took over the house, making dinner, and the teens while their dad was gone today. I know this disease is not only teaching me many things but also helping my children learn to be selfless. I know my teens especially need the opportunity to practice being more selfless. This has been extremely hard on my children. When I sat down to talk to my two teens today I realized that they are struggling watching their mom be sick. It just broke my heart to know that I am causing them to worry each day. I tried to assure them that I was fine and everything will work out. I told them I am fighter and will never give up on getting better. They promised to help more and try to not argue or cause disagreements in the house. I know it is a difficult thing to ask your children to do  especially when their own hormones are running rapant. I know we will grow closer as a family through this and learn to be patient with one another. I know we will conquer this as a family if we work together and never give up!