Last night I started into another one of my painful flares. The lung pain and migraine were so intense by morning that I could barely stand. I was so nauseated from all the pain that I once again started vomiting.
My oldest son C'Jay had stayed the weekend with us. He could see the pain I was in and without hesitation took my daughter to school. As soon as he arrived back home, he came into my room where I was lying in bed with my head covered in ice and he said "Lets go! You need to go see your chiropractor right now, you can't wait until your appointment later this afternoon." He immediately put me into the car and drove quite quickly( which for him is normal, haha) to my chiropractor.
I knew we did not have an appointment but my son reminded me that Dr. Stitcher has told me to come in, even on weekends to her own house when my body is in a crisis. As soon as she took one look at me she knew I was in a world of hurt. She immediately made the adjustments to my spine and neck and within minutes the nausea started to subside. She sent me into a dark room with a massage table in it to rest for an hour until she could do the 2nd adjustment of the day. C'Jay was by my side the entire time and kept things light and funny while I was in so much pain.
C'Jay has always been such an kind and caring son. He always asks how I am doing and although he is away at college, I could always count on him to call every day just to see how I am doing. One of his main talents is to make people laugh. C'Jay is so fun to be around and keeps all of us laughing even in the most difficult of times. He has such a fun personality and everyone just loves to be around him. He makes everyone feel special and loved whenever you spend time with him and is always willing to help whenever you need it.
Today was just another day for him, but he really will never know how much I appreciated his willingness to take me to my chiropractor and help me get out of pain. He knew exactly what I needed before I even had to ask for it! It it so amazing to have a son who puts others before himself, and today he demonstrated his kindness and love to me today, on a day when I needed it most!
Thank you C'Jay you truly are an amazing son!
Monday, March 31, 2014
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Love Heals All Wounds
Love is the key to helping others get through their difficulties is life. No matter if you are struggling physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually love is the key that unlocks the heart that is hurting. The Savior showed all of us how to love perfectly. He is the source of truth, hope, and light. We can feel his love as we turn to him in our time of need.
In a recent conference talk by President Thomas S Monson he said:
Actually, love is the very essence of the gospel, and Jesus Christ is our Exemplar. His life was a legacy of love. The sick He healed; the downtrodden He lifted; the sinner He saved. At the end the angry mob took His life. And yet there rings from Golgotha’s hill the words: “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do”4—a crowning expression in mortality of compassion and love.
It is amazing to me how loving and forgiving the Savior was even to the very end of his life. He could have been upset or angry at how they treated him. But instead he just silently endured what he had to because of his love for us. He was willing to do whatever the Father asked of him in order to save each of us. Then at the very end of his life he chose to ask the Father to forgive those who tormented him all because he loved them perfectly!
I know LOVE is the key to turning hearts that might be down, depressed, discouraged, or feel as if they are a disappointment. By putting your arm around someone who may be struggling is truly doing as the Savior would. Many times he left the 90 and 9 and sought out the one. He left the flock to find the wandering sheep. The Savior's love and compassion for the wandering one would come shining through as he would lead and guide, not force, them back to the fold.
Pres. Monson continues:
Love is expressed in many recognizable ways: a smile, a wave, a kind comment, a compliment. Other expressions may be more subtle, such as showing interest in another’s activities, teaching a principle with kindness and patience, visiting one who is ill or homebound. These words and actions and many others can communicate love.
Love can be shown in many different ways and forms. Everyone is suffering with their own difficulties and challenges. A week ago I was at a baseball game of my sons. I saw a former co-worker of mine come in. I had heard of the health challenges her husband had been going through. I immediately left my warm and comfortable chair and went to sit by her on the cold bleacher. Although it was only about 52 degrees that day I knew I needed to put my arm around her and ask how they were doing. We sat and talked for over 45 minutes. I listened and then expressed to her that I knew exactly what she was going through. By taking the time to talk and listen to her today filled my heart with love and happiness. I know that I would have never been able to know what she was going through if I hadn't had the opportunity to go through it myself. I was so grateful to be able to know how to help someone today!
Later that night I received a message from her expressing her love and concern for my family and just how much my simple task of talking and listening to her meant to her. She told me that I would never know just how much that meant to her.
I have realized through my own trials that sometimes you feel alone and even unloved. I have promised myself that I will always try to seek out the one that is struggling just as the as the Savior did. I have learned first hand that not only do we need the love of our Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ but also the love of others to get us through!
My hope is that I can find way to show my love to others in the way they need it most for
"Love Truly Does Heal all Wounds!"
For a complete version of Pres. Monson's talk on "Love-The Essense of the Gospel" go to:
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/04/love-the-essence-of-the-gospel?lang=eng#watch=video
In a recent conference talk by President Thomas S Monson he said:
Actually, love is the very essence of the gospel, and Jesus Christ is our Exemplar. His life was a legacy of love. The sick He healed; the downtrodden He lifted; the sinner He saved. At the end the angry mob took His life. And yet there rings from Golgotha’s hill the words: “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do”4—a crowning expression in mortality of compassion and love.
It is amazing to me how loving and forgiving the Savior was even to the very end of his life. He could have been upset or angry at how they treated him. But instead he just silently endured what he had to because of his love for us. He was willing to do whatever the Father asked of him in order to save each of us. Then at the very end of his life he chose to ask the Father to forgive those who tormented him all because he loved them perfectly!
I know LOVE is the key to turning hearts that might be down, depressed, discouraged, or feel as if they are a disappointment. By putting your arm around someone who may be struggling is truly doing as the Savior would. Many times he left the 90 and 9 and sought out the one. He left the flock to find the wandering sheep. The Savior's love and compassion for the wandering one would come shining through as he would lead and guide, not force, them back to the fold.
Pres. Monson continues:
Love is expressed in many recognizable ways: a smile, a wave, a kind comment, a compliment. Other expressions may be more subtle, such as showing interest in another’s activities, teaching a principle with kindness and patience, visiting one who is ill or homebound. These words and actions and many others can communicate love.
Love can be shown in many different ways and forms. Everyone is suffering with their own difficulties and challenges. A week ago I was at a baseball game of my sons. I saw a former co-worker of mine come in. I had heard of the health challenges her husband had been going through. I immediately left my warm and comfortable chair and went to sit by her on the cold bleacher. Although it was only about 52 degrees that day I knew I needed to put my arm around her and ask how they were doing. We sat and talked for over 45 minutes. I listened and then expressed to her that I knew exactly what she was going through. By taking the time to talk and listen to her today filled my heart with love and happiness. I know that I would have never been able to know what she was going through if I hadn't had the opportunity to go through it myself. I was so grateful to be able to know how to help someone today!
Later that night I received a message from her expressing her love and concern for my family and just how much my simple task of talking and listening to her meant to her. She told me that I would never know just how much that meant to her.
I have realized through my own trials that sometimes you feel alone and even unloved. I have promised myself that I will always try to seek out the one that is struggling just as the as the Savior did. I have learned first hand that not only do we need the love of our Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ but also the love of others to get us through!
My hope is that I can find way to show my love to others in the way they need it most for
"Love Truly Does Heal all Wounds!"
For a complete version of Pres. Monson's talk on "Love-The Essense of the Gospel" go to:
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/04/love-the-essence-of-the-gospel?lang=eng#watch=video
Saturday, March 29, 2014
Historic Women's Conference
Today I woke up still flaring from the weeks events. I am starting to feel like a weather forecaster. My body seems to feel the storm rolling in. The high pressure seems to create havoc and cause pain and pressure in my lungs. I guess you could say that this is another benefit of having sarcs. You get to warn your family of an upcoming storm! WOW who would have thought…. I would be a weather forecaster with never having to go to school for it!! haha!
Today was Saturday and after getting help from my kids in cleaning the house up for the week, the mother of my daughters friend called us and asked if we would like to join them for the women's conference tonight. It would be broadcast at our local stake center and we would eat dinner at their house first and then head over to the conference.
This conference would be a historic conference and would be a first of its kind. It was the first time that girls 8 years old and up would attend with their mothers. In the past they have had a Women's Conference and a separate Young Women's conference for girls ages 12-18. This was an historic event having girls ages 8 and up with attend with their mothers.
I was so worried that due to all of my flares from this past week if I would be able to make it tonight or not. I wanted to so badly and prayed and asked my father in Heaven to give me the health and strength in order to have the ability to make it. I trusted in the Lord and began to get ready even while feeling pain and extreme fatigue. My daughter drove us to her friends house and on the way over I asked her if we could say a prayer together. I once again pled with the Lord to give me the strength to attend this special conference with my daughter. Immediately after I felt a peace and knew I would be okay.
I was able to attend the dinner and I made it through the entire women's conference. It was absolutely amazing to be with my daughter and her friend as we basked in the warmth of the spirit and felt strengthened by the words of the leaders of our Church. I knew that I would normally not have been able to make it tonight without the help of the Lord. He literally took my pain and suffering away for those few hours in order to allow me and my daughter to be strengthened, because as I got home the pain and symptoms returned.
Although my daughter did not express her gratitude in words to me tonight but instead showed it by placing her head on my shoulder and on my lap, and just enjoyed me being by her side. It is amazing just how much I have taken for granite over the years. Attending a conference was something so simple and easy for me to go to before!
Oh how things change and now I am so thankful for the opportunity I was given tonight to make it to this special event with my daughter!
Here is the link to find the entire conference just in case you missed it:
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/sessions/2014/04?lang=eng&cid=HPTU040114648
This was my favorite video of the evening:
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/watch/2014/04?lang=eng&vid=3400040273001&cid=6
Today was Saturday and after getting help from my kids in cleaning the house up for the week, the mother of my daughters friend called us and asked if we would like to join them for the women's conference tonight. It would be broadcast at our local stake center and we would eat dinner at their house first and then head over to the conference.
This conference would be a historic conference and would be a first of its kind. It was the first time that girls 8 years old and up would attend with their mothers. In the past they have had a Women's Conference and a separate Young Women's conference for girls ages 12-18. This was an historic event having girls ages 8 and up with attend with their mothers.
I was so worried that due to all of my flares from this past week if I would be able to make it tonight or not. I wanted to so badly and prayed and asked my father in Heaven to give me the health and strength in order to have the ability to make it. I trusted in the Lord and began to get ready even while feeling pain and extreme fatigue. My daughter drove us to her friends house and on the way over I asked her if we could say a prayer together. I once again pled with the Lord to give me the strength to attend this special conference with my daughter. Immediately after I felt a peace and knew I would be okay.
I was able to attend the dinner and I made it through the entire women's conference. It was absolutely amazing to be with my daughter and her friend as we basked in the warmth of the spirit and felt strengthened by the words of the leaders of our Church. I knew that I would normally not have been able to make it tonight without the help of the Lord. He literally took my pain and suffering away for those few hours in order to allow me and my daughter to be strengthened, because as I got home the pain and symptoms returned.
Although my daughter did not express her gratitude in words to me tonight but instead showed it by placing her head on my shoulder and on my lap, and just enjoyed me being by her side. It is amazing just how much I have taken for granite over the years. Attending a conference was something so simple and easy for me to go to before!
Oh how things change and now I am so thankful for the opportunity I was given tonight to make it to this special event with my daughter!
Here is the link to find the entire conference just in case you missed it:
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/sessions/2014/04?lang=eng&cid=HPTU040114648
This was my favorite video of the evening:
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/watch/2014/04?lang=eng&vid=3400040273001&cid=6
Friday, March 28, 2014
The Teacher is Always Quiet during a Test
Sometimes when I have really difficult weeks I am unable to write on my blog daily. However, I do jot down notes on my phone from things that inspire me that day. I do this in order to remember what I went through that day and when I am feeling up to it, I am then able to look at my notes and compile my blog from there. This makes me even more grateful for my good days when I am able to share my ups and downs on this blog.
My reason and hope for this blog was at first to find a place where I can put to words how I am feeling. Since then it has seemed to developed into a lifeline for me to want to reach out to help others by sharing the reality of living with a chronic illness. By sharing our struggles, heartaches, experiences, tragedies, and triumphs on this blog, not only helps us find peace in the process, but our hope is that is will help you find peace amidst your own challenges and heartbreaks.
As I learn how to deal, grieve, and cope with my new life and share with you how we as a family try to just simply make it through each day will hopefully help you know you are not alone and that we all have to be tried and tested in the way the Lord would want us to.
It helps me to remember that the Lord is the teacher who decides what tests we will take and we are his students. He only gives us the tests that we need both individually and as a family that will strengthen and lead us back to him. He knows what we need and designs each test so individually and perfectly to fit exactly what we need in order to become more like him.
My reason and hope for this blog was at first to find a place where I can put to words how I am feeling. Since then it has seemed to developed into a lifeline for me to want to reach out to help others by sharing the reality of living with a chronic illness. By sharing our struggles, heartaches, experiences, tragedies, and triumphs on this blog, not only helps us find peace in the process, but our hope is that is will help you find peace amidst your own challenges and heartbreaks.
As I learn how to deal, grieve, and cope with my new life and share with you how we as a family try to just simply make it through each day will hopefully help you know you are not alone and that we all have to be tried and tested in the way the Lord would want us to.
It helps me to remember that the Lord is the teacher who decides what tests we will take and we are his students. He only gives us the tests that we need both individually and as a family that will strengthen and lead us back to him. He knows what we need and designs each test so individually and perfectly to fit exactly what we need in order to become more like him.
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Swiss Cheese and an AMAZING DAD!
Yes, that is my new nickname my hubby gave me a couple days ago because of all the holes that all these tests and biopsies are making in my body! It's always better to laugh at every difficult situations. It really takes the stress and worry right out of it! I had several more biopsies today testing for small fiber neuropathy which seems to be an additional disease that about 40% of people with sarcoidosis get. This condition is treatable so they want to make sure that I don't have this. In order to test for this they take out deep small tissue samples and count the nerves.
I was so grateful after this procedure was complete which marked the end of all the biopsies, tests, tooth extractions that I will need for a while. I just really need to give my body time to heal and allow my immune system to quiet down the flares from all these procedures. I am really becoming in tune with what my body can and can't handle. Now all I need to do is listen and rest instead of try to push through the pain.
My brain seems to try to over-run what my body is able to do. My mind says "You can do it, no problem,!" But inside my body there is a battle of constant chaos going on and it really struggles trying to keep up! I know that as I listen more to my body and give it the rest and stress-free life it wants I will be able to have more better days and less awful ones. I know this trial is to SLOW ME DOWN!
I know I get all my energy and stamina from my Dad. He is always going and never quits. He works, serves, and is always doing, doing, doing! He is a diabetic and has had many health challenges associated with that. I have watched him be able to live longer than anyone expected because of his will power to always work and stay active even into his mid 70's. He is truly an example of enduring and never giving up. He has taught each one of us kids, and now grandkids, what it means to serve others and work hard. He is what I think of when I want to give up. He pushes me to become better and work harder to overcome this illness both physically, mentally, and emotionally! Having this illness has allowed me the opportunity to know more of what he has went thorough since he was diagnosed at age 16. It has given me more compassion and understanding of his disease and has given me the courage to endure my own health challenges with as much strength and determination as he has!
I love my dad dearly and am so proud of him! And as his only daughter, I will always be his little girl!
I was so grateful after this procedure was complete which marked the end of all the biopsies, tests, tooth extractions that I will need for a while. I just really need to give my body time to heal and allow my immune system to quiet down the flares from all these procedures. I am really becoming in tune with what my body can and can't handle. Now all I need to do is listen and rest instead of try to push through the pain.
My brain seems to try to over-run what my body is able to do. My mind says "You can do it, no problem,!" But inside my body there is a battle of constant chaos going on and it really struggles trying to keep up! I know that as I listen more to my body and give it the rest and stress-free life it wants I will be able to have more better days and less awful ones. I know this trial is to SLOW ME DOWN!
I know I get all my energy and stamina from my Dad. He is always going and never quits. He works, serves, and is always doing, doing, doing! He is a diabetic and has had many health challenges associated with that. I have watched him be able to live longer than anyone expected because of his will power to always work and stay active even into his mid 70's. He is truly an example of enduring and never giving up. He has taught each one of us kids, and now grandkids, what it means to serve others and work hard. He is what I think of when I want to give up. He pushes me to become better and work harder to overcome this illness both physically, mentally, and emotionally! Having this illness has allowed me the opportunity to know more of what he has went thorough since he was diagnosed at age 16. It has given me more compassion and understanding of his disease and has given me the courage to endure my own health challenges with as much strength and determination as he has!
I love my dad dearly and am so proud of him! And as his only daughter, I will always be his little girl!
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
Wendy…Always there For Me!
Today I woke up knowing I had yet more appointments and tests scheduled for today. I have to admit just how hard it is trying to deal with trials alone. I have been so lucky to have a friend who has consistently checked on me, through a text, a phone call, or just a simple word of encouragement, means more than she will ever know.
Sometimes in life, (I know I have been there), we get too busy to take a quick second to check on someone who is struggling either physically, emotionally, or spiritually. Sometimes we don't know what to say or what we can do. But, I have learned first hand, you don't have to know what to do nor do you need to know exactly what to say. All you need is a willing heart and a listening ear. Sometimes just a quick visit to someone who is struggling can make all the difference in the world by letting them know just how much you care and are concerned about them.
Today I had a friend stop by with an all-fruit smoothie for me today. She took the day off of work and still took the time to stop by and just visit with me today. It reminded me of how the Savior left the 90 and 9 and went to the one. Although he was extremely busy and needed to minister to the masses the Savior made it a point to visit the sick, the lonely, and those suffering and who really needed him. This friend truly exemplifies the Savior in every way. She seems to always listen and follow through to the promptings of when I need her most. Her call, text, or visit always seems to come at the time I really need a lift. She truly is a very special friend who has always been there for me through thick and thin.
We met about 15 years ago when our our boys played little league baseball together. We have been family friends ever since then and we have loved their family dearly! We have throughly enjoyed spending time together with their family over the years.
A few years ago we served together in Young Women's which brought us even closer. We have raised our teens together and have found strength in one another as we vent, cry, and help one another make it through difficult times!
I treasure our friendship so much and want her to know just how much I love her and appreciate all that she does for me!
Thanks so much Wendy you are truly better than the best!
Sometimes in life, (I know I have been there), we get too busy to take a quick second to check on someone who is struggling either physically, emotionally, or spiritually. Sometimes we don't know what to say or what we can do. But, I have learned first hand, you don't have to know what to do nor do you need to know exactly what to say. All you need is a willing heart and a listening ear. Sometimes just a quick visit to someone who is struggling can make all the difference in the world by letting them know just how much you care and are concerned about them.
Today I had a friend stop by with an all-fruit smoothie for me today. She took the day off of work and still took the time to stop by and just visit with me today. It reminded me of how the Savior left the 90 and 9 and went to the one. Although he was extremely busy and needed to minister to the masses the Savior made it a point to visit the sick, the lonely, and those suffering and who really needed him. This friend truly exemplifies the Savior in every way. She seems to always listen and follow through to the promptings of when I need her most. Her call, text, or visit always seems to come at the time I really need a lift. She truly is a very special friend who has always been there for me through thick and thin.
We met about 15 years ago when our our boys played little league baseball together. We have been family friends ever since then and we have loved their family dearly! We have throughly enjoyed spending time together with their family over the years.
A few years ago we served together in Young Women's which brought us even closer. We have raised our teens together and have found strength in one another as we vent, cry, and help one another make it through difficult times!
I treasure our friendship so much and want her to know just how much I love her and appreciate all that she does for me!
Thanks so much Wendy you are truly better than the best!
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Happy 26th Anniversary Sweetheart!
Today was our 26th anniversary. I just want to tell my sweetheart how much I love him and never in a million years did I ever think our marriage would be able to endure the difficulties we have encountered over the past 26 years, especially these past 15 months.
We have had many ups and downs but have been able to ride the wave and make it through each one, a little better, a little stronger, and now much more closer. Dealing with trials can either pull you apart or bring you closer. At times we have felt as if we have reached our breaking point and can't go on any longer. It is at these times where we find strength in one another as we hold tight and lift one another together as we endure difficult times.
I have felt so much love and compassion from my hubby these past few months. At times he has told me that he is so sorry I have to go through this. Many times he has felt and experienced my pain right along with me. He has always been by my side lifting me, loving me, and especially making me laugh. He has always been great at finding ways to laugh so we don't cry. In fact, this past week with all the biopsies, tooth extractions, and tests they have been doing on me, he has watched my body go into full flare mode and how painful and difficult it has been to watch me go through this. I have tried to put on a happy face and hide the pain but he can see it. One day he noticed all the stitches I had from each biopsy and decided to call me swiss cheese. I laughed so hard until everything hurt. So my nickname this week changed from Sarcs to Swiss Cheese! We have realized that it is better to laugh than to cry. Laughter heals the soul, lifts the burdens, and lightens your load!
We have had many ups and downs but have been able to ride the wave and make it through each one, a little better, a little stronger, and now much more closer. Dealing with trials can either pull you apart or bring you closer. At times we have felt as if we have reached our breaking point and can't go on any longer. It is at these times where we find strength in one another as we hold tight and lift one another together as we endure difficult times.
I have felt so much love and compassion from my hubby these past few months. At times he has told me that he is so sorry I have to go through this. Many times he has felt and experienced my pain right along with me. He has always been by my side lifting me, loving me, and especially making me laugh. He has always been great at finding ways to laugh so we don't cry. In fact, this past week with all the biopsies, tooth extractions, and tests they have been doing on me, he has watched my body go into full flare mode and how painful and difficult it has been to watch me go through this. I have tried to put on a happy face and hide the pain but he can see it. One day he noticed all the stitches I had from each biopsy and decided to call me swiss cheese. I laughed so hard until everything hurt. So my nickname this week changed from Sarcs to Swiss Cheese! We have realized that it is better to laugh than to cry. Laughter heals the soul, lifts the burdens, and lightens your load!
We took this picture last summer at a beach in California. We were watching the fireworks on the 4th of July over the ocean. We had to keep looking behind us to make sure we would not get hit by the waves while taking the picture. This picture reminds me of a trip my hubby planned for me to get away and relax. He planned a trip beach hopping up the coast of California. He wanted a trip that I could really enjoy while having a chronic illness. He is such a sweetheart and I love and appreciate him so much! I know I could never make it through this difficult trial without him constantly by my side.
He is my everything and my eternal companion.
Happy 26th Anniversary Sweetheart!
I love you forever, I love you for always!
Thanks for always being by my side no matter what!
Monday, March 24, 2014
Sun will Shine Again!
Today I was schedule for yet another specialist to see. My pulmonologist has recommended I have different parts of my body checked out for the spreading of sarcs. Since I have not seen a dermatologist that knows much about diagnosing sarcoidosis of the skin, she recommended a specialist for me to see at the U of U clinic.
I met with him today and he took a biopsy of one of the spots on my chest. We will have the results back in a week. I only had to have a couple stitches and the procedure was virtually painless other than a little stinging from the injections to numb the area.
It wasn't until the car ride home that my body's immune system once again went into complete overdrive, throwing me into another painful flare-up. I could not believe how quickly my body responded to this invasion.
I asked my chiropractor why this was happening and she said that anytime you cut or disturb an area of your body, your immune system kicks into hyper drive to try and heal or fix the problem. When you have a disease such as sarcoidosis and you have granulomas in your lungs, and lump system they too will flare and cause additional pain and discomfort until your immune system calms down.
I seem to have had one flare on top of another lately and she told me that I need to rest and give my body a chance to heal. I told her he wants to do one more biopsy to test for small fiber neuropathy which has to be done at the U of U clinic which requires more specialized equipment. It is a very expensive test but he said it is a good one to have because half of all sarc patients seem to get this type of painful neuropathy.
I hope to be able to get all of these tests and appts. done this week and then get all of this painful flaring out of the way real soon! I just need to stay positive and trust that all things happen for a reason and that I will make it through this real soon!
Today I am so grateful for:
1. Neighbors and ward member who have brought our family gluten and dairy free dinners when we have really needed it most!
2. My family who is patient with this process
3. Jokes from my hubby that keeps me laughing even when I feel like crying
4. My sweet little grand baby that always has a smile for me and know when I don't feel good and gives me snuggles.
5. The sunshine that made me feel Gods love today!
I met with him today and he took a biopsy of one of the spots on my chest. We will have the results back in a week. I only had to have a couple stitches and the procedure was virtually painless other than a little stinging from the injections to numb the area.
It wasn't until the car ride home that my body's immune system once again went into complete overdrive, throwing me into another painful flare-up. I could not believe how quickly my body responded to this invasion.
I asked my chiropractor why this was happening and she said that anytime you cut or disturb an area of your body, your immune system kicks into hyper drive to try and heal or fix the problem. When you have a disease such as sarcoidosis and you have granulomas in your lungs, and lump system they too will flare and cause additional pain and discomfort until your immune system calms down.
I seem to have had one flare on top of another lately and she told me that I need to rest and give my body a chance to heal. I told her he wants to do one more biopsy to test for small fiber neuropathy which has to be done at the U of U clinic which requires more specialized equipment. It is a very expensive test but he said it is a good one to have because half of all sarc patients seem to get this type of painful neuropathy.
I hope to be able to get all of these tests and appts. done this week and then get all of this painful flaring out of the way real soon! I just need to stay positive and trust that all things happen for a reason and that I will make it through this real soon!
Today I am so grateful for:
1. Neighbors and ward member who have brought our family gluten and dairy free dinners when we have really needed it most!
2. My family who is patient with this process
3. Jokes from my hubby that keeps me laughing even when I feel like crying
4. My sweet little grand baby that always has a smile for me and know when I don't feel good and gives me snuggles.
5. The sunshine that made me feel Gods love today!
Sunday, March 23, 2014
His Hands
This past week has been extremely difficult for our family. Somedays you simply wonder if its more than you can possible take. Our Father in Heaven has promised he would never give us more than we can handle. This past week I have felt as if I have been challenged to almost my breaking point.
Sometimes you might feel, like I have lately, that you are all alone in your trials. You might feel as if you are lost in a sea of never ending pain and misery. It is at these very times that I use every ounce of energy I have left to pray to my Father in Heaven. My prayers were answered today as I found this video that helped me to know that my Savior has suffered everything we are going through plus much, much, more. He IS the ONLY One who knows how to succor us in our time of need. He is the only one who can give us the much needed peace and love we need as we navigate through our difficulties in this life. This video gave me the hope I need to go on and never give up. I am so eternally grateful for a Savior who loves me enough to sacrifice his own life for me and my family.
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Lord...Stay With Me
How thankful I am to have found this video the explains how I have felt the past 24 hours. After 14 years of being together my sweet little dog Tawnee, she had to be put down today. She has been dwindling this past week and we have been doing IV's, medications, and force feedings, but after today we could not see her suffer any longer. We knew it was time for her to go in peace.We love her and will miss her dearly!
Not only did we have to put our little dog down today, we had a teenager who is really struggling both spiritually, emotionally, and now physically with his injured leg. We spent last night up with him until 3:00 a.m. listening to him pour his heart out about his struggles. As parents you want to take away all their pain and suffering but know that if you do they will never learn the lessons God has intended for them to learn.
The past 24 hours have been one of the most difficult times of my life so far. Dealing with a chronic illness can be extremely challenging but then throwing in life's additional difficulties can sometimes make you feel as if you can't stand any longer. It is at these times when all I can do is hit my knees and pray.
These stressors took such a tole on my body that I encountered 3 breathing attacks in one day. This is the most I have ever dealt with. This was a very difficult day but oh how grateful I am for my Savior who stayed with me and gave me the strength to endure a difficult night with my son, and who never left my side throughout this day as I relied on him to carry me today.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phHNYrNHG5E&feature=share&list=RDphHNYrNHG5E
Not only did we have to put our little dog down today, we had a teenager who is really struggling both spiritually, emotionally, and now physically with his injured leg. We spent last night up with him until 3:00 a.m. listening to him pour his heart out about his struggles. As parents you want to take away all their pain and suffering but know that if you do they will never learn the lessons God has intended for them to learn.
The past 24 hours have been one of the most difficult times of my life so far. Dealing with a chronic illness can be extremely challenging but then throwing in life's additional difficulties can sometimes make you feel as if you can't stand any longer. It is at these times when all I can do is hit my knees and pray.
These stressors took such a tole on my body that I encountered 3 breathing attacks in one day. This is the most I have ever dealt with. This was a very difficult day but oh how grateful I am for my Savior who stayed with me and gave me the strength to endure a difficult night with my son, and who never left my side throughout this day as I relied on him to carry me today.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phHNYrNHG5E&feature=share&list=RDphHNYrNHG5E
Friday, March 21, 2014
Tough Times….
I can know say I absolutely know exactly what the specialists meant what she said about causing a immune response flare. This was probably the worst flare I have had so far. The pain from the removal of the infected root canal was not even as bad as the lung flare that I was having. It it amazing to me just how immune system can affect your entire body and when something compromises it and then you mess with it, your entire body goes on high alert!
Thank goodness for a sweet daughter and son-in-law, wonderful mother, loving husband, and caring kids who all pitched in to help make me the most comfortable I could be today. I especially am grateful for my little grand baby who kissed my sore cheek and loved me better today! She is definitely the best pain pill I could ever ask for!
Thank goodness for a sweet daughter and son-in-law, wonderful mother, loving husband, and caring kids who all pitched in to help make me the most comfortable I could be today. I especially am grateful for my little grand baby who kissed my sore cheek and loved me better today! She is definitely the best pain pill I could ever ask for!
My sweetheart who brightened my day and snuggled me in bed today!
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Finding a Happy Place to make it Through….
I have to admit that when I woke up today I was a bit apprehensive about having this infected root canal removed. I was not worried so much about the pain from the procedure as I was about what kind of flare this would throw my body into.
Having sarcoidosis seems to cause flares from; what I eat, stress, the weather, and especially when I over-do-it. This was my first procedure and I was pretty anxious wondering what it would do to me. But I knew that I must not have fear and instead have faith and trust that the Lord will strengthen me to make it through. I knew that this infected root canal needed to be removed and I was hopeful that this could be just another step in my healing process.
The removal went well and took only about an hour. I was awake the entire time during the removal. It was pretty rough when they had to twist, pull, and yank to get the tooth out. The dentist told me I would have bruising on my chin from where they had to push so hard. Although this was a very stressful event on my already adrenal stricken body. I seemed to feel peace and calmness during the entire time and knew that this was an answer to my prayer. I knew that if I tensed up then I would only cause myself more pain and suffering from the flare that would surely come after the removal.
It was about 10 minuted from the completion of the procedure that my body went into full flare mode. The pain was beginning intensely on the left side of my chest and back. I prayed to be able to make it through the rest of the procedure. I then had the thought to take myself to a happy place. I found a nice warm beach in my mind and went there. It was over before I knew it and was glad to get the heck out of there! haha!
My mom, my daughter, and my granddaughter were all with me. The drive home was a very long one as my mouth was becoming un-numb and painful and the pain in my lungs was intensifying. I was grateful to get home, climb into bed, and wrap my cheek in ice. I was thankful this day was over and now to begin the healing and endure the flaring process. I really hope this procedure will not cause a flare that will last too long!
Having sarcoidosis seems to cause flares from; what I eat, stress, the weather, and especially when I over-do-it. This was my first procedure and I was pretty anxious wondering what it would do to me. But I knew that I must not have fear and instead have faith and trust that the Lord will strengthen me to make it through. I knew that this infected root canal needed to be removed and I was hopeful that this could be just another step in my healing process.
The removal went well and took only about an hour. I was awake the entire time during the removal. It was pretty rough when they had to twist, pull, and yank to get the tooth out. The dentist told me I would have bruising on my chin from where they had to push so hard. Although this was a very stressful event on my already adrenal stricken body. I seemed to feel peace and calmness during the entire time and knew that this was an answer to my prayer. I knew that if I tensed up then I would only cause myself more pain and suffering from the flare that would surely come after the removal.
It was about 10 minuted from the completion of the procedure that my body went into full flare mode. The pain was beginning intensely on the left side of my chest and back. I prayed to be able to make it through the rest of the procedure. I then had the thought to take myself to a happy place. I found a nice warm beach in my mind and went there. It was over before I knew it and was glad to get the heck out of there! haha!
My mom, my daughter, and my granddaughter were all with me. The drive home was a very long one as my mouth was becoming un-numb and painful and the pain in my lungs was intensifying. I was grateful to get home, climb into bed, and wrap my cheek in ice. I was thankful this day was over and now to begin the healing and endure the flaring process. I really hope this procedure will not cause a flare that will last too long!
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Another Step in the Right Direction
Today was a very unusual day. I found myself going once again to visit my friend the chiropractor. It has been only 6 weeks since we have met, but since I visit her office two times per day since then we have become friends. Because of these frequent visits she is beginning to understand everything that seems to cause me to flare. It is amazing that I don't even have to tell her where I am hurting and she seems to know from the exam just where my body is struggling. I am seeing for the first time a difference in the frequencies and duration of my flares. Although it is a small change, nonetheless it IS a change. I am so thankful to finally be seeing a good difference.
Over the past several weeks I have had 3 specialists, my chiro included who have recommended that I get my amalgams (silver fillings) in my teeth out. I have 5 amalgams from when I was young. They are made from mercury which is a very toxic metal. I have had a specialist worry about when I was to get them out as she did not want to throw my body into an immune reaction. So my daughter made an appointment to a biological dentist for herself today and since she was going anyway I asked her to make me one at the same time.
We both had our teeth cleaned today and after my teeth cleaning they examined my teeth and x-rays. No sooner did the dentist take one look at my x-rays then found one of the two existing root canals had a huge nasty infection under the tooth. He then went on to tell me the this root canal was failing and that we needed to remove it and the tooth ASAP. He told me I had an attack going on under this tooth and that this was also adding to my immune system being so compromised.
I asked the dentist and then later did some research on whether or not this infected root canal could have been the cause of getting this auto-immune disease or did my disease cause the infection. He said he did not know the answer to that question but did say that it definitely would cause your immune system to constantly be trying to fight off this hidden infection thus leading to a more compromised immune system. From my research I found varied responses. Some say it causes diseases or cancers and others say that your disease causes the infected root canal. Nevertheless, it needed to come out and soon. We scheduled an appointment for tomorrow to remove the infected tooth and drill out the socket to get rid of any and all infection.
My hope is that removing this tooth and infection will be just another step in the right direction towards healing.
Over the past several weeks I have had 3 specialists, my chiro included who have recommended that I get my amalgams (silver fillings) in my teeth out. I have 5 amalgams from when I was young. They are made from mercury which is a very toxic metal. I have had a specialist worry about when I was to get them out as she did not want to throw my body into an immune reaction. So my daughter made an appointment to a biological dentist for herself today and since she was going anyway I asked her to make me one at the same time.
We both had our teeth cleaned today and after my teeth cleaning they examined my teeth and x-rays. No sooner did the dentist take one look at my x-rays then found one of the two existing root canals had a huge nasty infection under the tooth. He then went on to tell me the this root canal was failing and that we needed to remove it and the tooth ASAP. He told me I had an attack going on under this tooth and that this was also adding to my immune system being so compromised.
I asked the dentist and then later did some research on whether or not this infected root canal could have been the cause of getting this auto-immune disease or did my disease cause the infection. He said he did not know the answer to that question but did say that it definitely would cause your immune system to constantly be trying to fight off this hidden infection thus leading to a more compromised immune system. From my research I found varied responses. Some say it causes diseases or cancers and others say that your disease causes the infected root canal. Nevertheless, it needed to come out and soon. We scheduled an appointment for tomorrow to remove the infected tooth and drill out the socket to get rid of any and all infection.
My hope is that removing this tooth and infection will be just another step in the right direction towards healing.
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Quiet:God at Work
My little dog Tawnee has been sick for the past few days. She is 14 years old and I am worried she will not last too much longer. She will not eat so I have been force feeding her with a dropper. We have an appt. with the vet tomorrow to see what it going on with her.
Today I am still trying to recover from the flare from this past weekend. I am so thankful I found this article in the March Ensign entitled Trials, Tribulations and Trust in the Lord. It was just what I needed at this time. In this article he quotes from a book entitled, Why Did, This Happen to Me,
“Sometimes we will face things for which there is no earthly explanation. In those moments we need to erect a sign that reads, ‘Quiet: God at Work.’ Meanwhile, hold on, child of God. Keep believing. Don’t quit. Don’t give up. Let God do His work in you. The greatest tragedy is to miss what God wants to teach us through our troubles.”
I really found myself relating to this quote. I think I might make this very sign and put it on my refrigerator to remind me why we go through the things we do. I am trying to stay positive and allow Him to teach me what it is I am needing to learn through all of this.
I also love the quote from Pres. Kimball:
"Someday, “from the vantage point of the future, we shall be satisfied with many of the happenings of this life that are so difficult for us to comprehend,” said President Spencer W. Kimball (1895–1985). He added: “We knew before we were born that we were coming to the earth for bodies and experience and that … after a period of life we would die. We accepted all these eventualities with a glad heart, eager to accept both the favorable and unfavorable. We eagerly accepted the chance to come earthward even though it might be for only a day or a year.”
It is helpful for me to remember that I accepted all these trials with a eager and glad heart. Knowing this helps me get through the days I might not feel so glad to have certain trials.
Today I am thankful for:
1. Finding an Ensign article that truly inspired me to be quiet, not complain, and remember God is at WORK!
2. To know that God is teaching me through my trials.
3. The opportunity I have to let God do His work through me.
4. Knowing that I accepted every trial, tribulation, and difficulty before I came to this earth.
5. Being inspired to not quit, not give up, and hold on because I am a child of God.
Today I am still trying to recover from the flare from this past weekend. I am so thankful I found this article in the March Ensign entitled Trials, Tribulations and Trust in the Lord. It was just what I needed at this time. In this article he quotes from a book entitled, Why Did, This Happen to Me,
“Sometimes we will face things for which there is no earthly explanation. In those moments we need to erect a sign that reads, ‘Quiet: God at Work.’ Meanwhile, hold on, child of God. Keep believing. Don’t quit. Don’t give up. Let God do His work in you. The greatest tragedy is to miss what God wants to teach us through our troubles.”
I really found myself relating to this quote. I think I might make this very sign and put it on my refrigerator to remind me why we go through the things we do. I am trying to stay positive and allow Him to teach me what it is I am needing to learn through all of this.
I also love the quote from Pres. Kimball:
"Someday, “from the vantage point of the future, we shall be satisfied with many of the happenings of this life that are so difficult for us to comprehend,” said President Spencer W. Kimball (1895–1985). He added: “We knew before we were born that we were coming to the earth for bodies and experience and that … after a period of life we would die. We accepted all these eventualities with a glad heart, eager to accept both the favorable and unfavorable. We eagerly accepted the chance to come earthward even though it might be for only a day or a year.”
It is helpful for me to remember that I accepted all these trials with a eager and glad heart. Knowing this helps me get through the days I might not feel so glad to have certain trials.
Today I am thankful for:
1. Finding an Ensign article that truly inspired me to be quiet, not complain, and remember God is at WORK!
2. To know that God is teaching me through my trials.
3. The opportunity I have to let God do His work through me.
4. Knowing that I accepted every trial, tribulation, and difficulty before I came to this earth.
5. Being inspired to not quit, not give up, and hold on because I am a child of God.
Monday, March 17, 2014
Great and Noble One….J'Dee
Once again I saw a teenage son show such love and compassion to me today. He came home from school and could see the pain I was in. My big 18 year old tough son stayed by my side for the entire afternoon. His love was apparent through his willingness and offers to get me anything I need, make dinner, and to even volunteered to pick up his sister. He truly is a great a noble spirit, he has such a giant heart and has always worried about me ever since he was a little boy.
When my hubby and I would go on dates years ago, we would always receive a phone call about an hour into our date. We would both say, "I bet it's J'Dee," and sure enough it would be. He would say, "Hi Mom, What cha doing?" He would then asked us "When ya coming home?" We would assure him we would be home soon. His brothers and sisters would tease him about calling mom and dad and making sure that we were okay. But we loved knowing he missed us and that he just wanted to check and make sure we were okay!
Still to this day he is such a gentle giant! He is truly a noble and great spirit that we have been so blessed to have in our family. I know my illness has been extremely stressful on him. I try to downplay everything for his benefit but apparently he tells me he can see the pain in my eyes and he knows when I am suffering. I know he worries way to much more than he needs to and I hope that he can feel peace soon. I am so grateful for this boy who has always demonstrated his love and compassion to us and has showed us how to love perfectly!
When my hubby and I would go on dates years ago, we would always receive a phone call about an hour into our date. We would both say, "I bet it's J'Dee," and sure enough it would be. He would say, "Hi Mom, What cha doing?" He would then asked us "When ya coming home?" We would assure him we would be home soon. His brothers and sisters would tease him about calling mom and dad and making sure that we were okay. But we loved knowing he missed us and that he just wanted to check and make sure we were okay!
Still to this day he is such a gentle giant! He is truly a noble and great spirit that we have been so blessed to have in our family. I know my illness has been extremely stressful on him. I try to downplay everything for his benefit but apparently he tells me he can see the pain in my eyes and he knows when I am suffering. I know he worries way to much more than he needs to and I hope that he can feel peace soon. I am so grateful for this boy who has always demonstrated his love and compassion to us and has showed us how to love perfectly!
Sunday, March 16, 2014
We Rise by Lifting Others
After yesterday pushing myself in the cold caused me to be in a huge flare today. But I felt so good mentally today because I was able to get out of the house and be there for both of my kiddos. I was so thankful for such a wonderful hubby who helped me endure a difficult day today. He knows how important it is for me to be to the games and knows I want nothing more than to show my love and support to them. He did not get mad at me for overdoing yesterday, but simply picked up the slack, cooked, cleaned, and did what needed to get done without complaint today.
Its a funny thing I noticed today. Today my kids, helped my hubby cook the meals, pick up the house, and do whatever needed to get done. They never complained or whined once today (which was a complete miracle in and of itself today! haha). We both took note of this today and praised and thanked our teens for the wonderful day it had made for all of us.
I think my teens saw the physical sacrifice I made on their behalf to be to all their games yesterday and could see the pain I was in today because of it. I think it humbled them and they showed their gratitude through their acts of unselfish service today.
Although today was a difficult day pain-wise for me today, my family made it so much sweeter through their simple acts of kindness and love that they demonstrated so unselfishly today. We all realized today that we really do rise by lifting others!
Its a funny thing I noticed today. Today my kids, helped my hubby cook the meals, pick up the house, and do whatever needed to get done. They never complained or whined once today (which was a complete miracle in and of itself today! haha). We both took note of this today and praised and thanked our teens for the wonderful day it had made for all of us.
I think my teens saw the physical sacrifice I made on their behalf to be to all their games yesterday and could see the pain I was in today because of it. I think it humbled them and they showed their gratitude through their acts of unselfish service today.
Although today was a difficult day pain-wise for me today, my family made it so much sweeter through their simple acts of kindness and love that they demonstrated so unselfishly today. We all realized today that we really do rise by lifting others!
Saturday, March 15, 2014
Being Their #1 Fan
Today I was able to attend my daughters lacrosse game and my sons baseball games. I learned my 11:00 a.m. that my body was really struggling with pain due to the cold and pushing myself too hard. I was too stubborn and would not leave either of their games. I missed so many games last spring due to this disease and the medications I was on, that this year I am determined to stay, support, and be their # 1 fan.
My daughters game was first and after winning her two games yesterday their team was undefeated. It was so fun to support her and watch her excitement as she plays her favorite sport. The team won and made it to the championship game of the tournament but it was prom and the majority of the team would not be to the game. My daughter was not old enough to date yet so she was so disappointed that they had to forfeit the championship game. Their team
My son told me if I came to his game today that he would tell the coach to bench him. I told him, that's fine then, I will just watch the other boys. He just shook his head and laughed. He knew I was going to come no matter what. I know he worries about me, but he also knows I do not want to miss his Senior year of high school baseball. He plays 3rd base and is a key hitter on the team. I love watching him play, it is so rewarding to watch your kids set goals, work hard, and succeed in what they love to do.
By the time the day was over I felt utterly exhausted and in pain but all I can say that it was all WORTH IT! My family means everything to me and I will do whatever it takes to be there to support each and every one of them by being their #1 fan in everything they do!
My daughters game was first and after winning her two games yesterday their team was undefeated. It was so fun to support her and watch her excitement as she plays her favorite sport. The team won and made it to the championship game of the tournament but it was prom and the majority of the team would not be to the game. My daughter was not old enough to date yet so she was so disappointed that they had to forfeit the championship game. Their team
My son told me if I came to his game today that he would tell the coach to bench him. I told him, that's fine then, I will just watch the other boys. He just shook his head and laughed. He knew I was going to come no matter what. I know he worries about me, but he also knows I do not want to miss his Senior year of high school baseball. He plays 3rd base and is a key hitter on the team. I love watching him play, it is so rewarding to watch your kids set goals, work hard, and succeed in what they love to do.
By the time the day was over I felt utterly exhausted and in pain but all I can say that it was all WORTH IT! My family means everything to me and I will do whatever it takes to be there to support each and every one of them by being their #1 fan in everything they do!
Friday, March 14, 2014
Grieving for my Old Life...
It is on days like these that I wish I could have my old like back…. In the past on game days I would have been able to get up, get the cooler packed, blankets, chairs, and cameras ready, but today was when I realized my life has changed and I am no longer the same do-it-all woman I used to be. Boy how I miss those days!
I have loved sports every since I can remember; doing gymnastics, dance, swimming and which all eventually led to diving where I took the state 5A Highschool diving championship my senior year in high school. I have always been a very determined, driven, and goal oriented person. Once I set my mind to something I would do whatever it took to accomplish it. Participating in sports taught me how to set and accomplish goals, how to work hard, and gave me the self esteem to navigate through my difficult teenage years. Once we started having our own children we felt it was so very important to allow them every opportunity to participate in whatever athletic pursuit they were interested in.
We have two boys who have played many sports but their passion for baseball has outweighed all others. Our oldest son continues to play on a mens softball league and coaches the team. Our youngest is a senior in highs school who is currently playing his final year on the team. He is an amazing 3rd baseman and is an awesome hitter. Our two girls are both so different but our oldest swam for her high school and college and loved every minute of it. Our youngest is now swimming on her high school team for fun but her real love is lacrosse in which she is amazing at.
As parents we have tried to never miss a game, meet, or event of our children's sporting careers. We have loved every minute supporting, cheering, and encouraging them to go after their dreams. I have always been the one with some type of camera automatically glued to my hand in order to capture every minute of the fun. I have always documented these events and made videos for each of my kiddos of their yearly accomplishments.
Today marked the day of the first games of the season, I tried to prepare for the games like I have done for the past 20 years. But by the time I loaded the car, my breathing was labored, my energy was spent, and I felt as if I wanted to collapse by only 10 in the morning. Boy did I ever need to find a way to prepare for these games in a different way as to not tank myself before the games even begin.
I will definitely say that today was a day of grieving, grieving for the person I once was, grieving for the energy and stamina I once had, and grieving for the person I long to be again.
I did make it to the games but spent a great deal of time laying in the back of the car resting and trying to make it through the day. Thank goodness for my mom, my older daughter, and my hubby who chauffeured me around and carried my stuff to each of the games today. I am slowly learning to rely more on others in order to be around to enjoy these time honored games as a family.
Today I am grateful for:
1. The energy I found to be able to sit through a game on a very cold day
2. The sun that finally came out that relieved some of my pain
3 A sweet daughter who sacrifices her day in order to help me support my younger kids
4. A wonderful mom who would do anything for me
5. A hubby who patiently carried the cameras, chairs, and blankets so that I am able to enjoy every minute watching my kids do what they love to do.
I have loved sports every since I can remember; doing gymnastics, dance, swimming and which all eventually led to diving where I took the state 5A Highschool diving championship my senior year in high school. I have always been a very determined, driven, and goal oriented person. Once I set my mind to something I would do whatever it took to accomplish it. Participating in sports taught me how to set and accomplish goals, how to work hard, and gave me the self esteem to navigate through my difficult teenage years. Once we started having our own children we felt it was so very important to allow them every opportunity to participate in whatever athletic pursuit they were interested in.
We have two boys who have played many sports but their passion for baseball has outweighed all others. Our oldest son continues to play on a mens softball league and coaches the team. Our youngest is a senior in highs school who is currently playing his final year on the team. He is an amazing 3rd baseman and is an awesome hitter. Our two girls are both so different but our oldest swam for her high school and college and loved every minute of it. Our youngest is now swimming on her high school team for fun but her real love is lacrosse in which she is amazing at.
As parents we have tried to never miss a game, meet, or event of our children's sporting careers. We have loved every minute supporting, cheering, and encouraging them to go after their dreams. I have always been the one with some type of camera automatically glued to my hand in order to capture every minute of the fun. I have always documented these events and made videos for each of my kiddos of their yearly accomplishments.
Today marked the day of the first games of the season, I tried to prepare for the games like I have done for the past 20 years. But by the time I loaded the car, my breathing was labored, my energy was spent, and I felt as if I wanted to collapse by only 10 in the morning. Boy did I ever need to find a way to prepare for these games in a different way as to not tank myself before the games even begin.
I will definitely say that today was a day of grieving, grieving for the person I once was, grieving for the energy and stamina I once had, and grieving for the person I long to be again.
I did make it to the games but spent a great deal of time laying in the back of the car resting and trying to make it through the day. Thank goodness for my mom, my older daughter, and my hubby who chauffeured me around and carried my stuff to each of the games today. I am slowly learning to rely more on others in order to be around to enjoy these time honored games as a family.
Today I am grateful for:
1. The energy I found to be able to sit through a game on a very cold day
2. The sun that finally came out that relieved some of my pain
3 A sweet daughter who sacrifices her day in order to help me support my younger kids
4. A wonderful mom who would do anything for me
5. A hubby who patiently carried the cameras, chairs, and blankets so that I am able to enjoy every minute watching my kids do what they love to do.
Thursday, March 13, 2014
FAMILY…is What Matters Most!
This video reminds me how our trials help soften our hearts and help us realize that family is the most important thing in our lives. Without family we are nothing! We should not let anything in our lives come between us and the ones we love. Nothing matter more than to love and cherish our families and to treasure our time we have with them. The only thing on this earth we will be able to take with us when we die is our family so why not work on what matters most……... FAMILY!
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Cherish what Matters Most!
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Fatigue...
Fatigue is a very funny word. In fact my daughter makes fun of me when I say it. I have never had to even say this word much less ever worry about this word until having Sarcoidosis.
Fatigue is real and can be a very devastating and daunting thing to deal with on a daily basis. Until you experience extreme fatigue I don't think you ever can really understand it. I know I never would have until going through it myself. I now have so much more compassion for someone who experiences it on a daily basis.
It is not just being tired all the time. It is an inner exhaustion that makes you feel like a limp wet noodle or like your limbs are jello. (haha) Since having this disease I have really tried to fight this fatigue thinking if I pushed through it that it would get better. I have found that this definitely does not work! When I try to push through it I find that I either flare myself up worse or end up in flat down in bed for hours. I am quite a stubborn person and love to be busy, busy, busy, but I have had to learn to not just listen to what my brain is telling me to go, go, go but rather listen to what my body is saying, which is to rest. When I do listen to my body I find that I can rest and gather some strength for later, or rather add some spoons to my day.
I have done some research on the fatigue that people with Sarcoidosis get and have recently learned that there are three different types. Learning about his helps me to better understand fatigue and try and listen to my body more.
"Sharma [9] postulated three different types of fatigue in sarcoidosis, i.e. early morning fatigue, intermittent fatigue and afternoon fatigue. Patients with early morning fatigue awake unrefreshed. They have difficulty getting out of bed, partly because of joint stiffness and/or muscle pain. Moreover, sleeping disorders (see later) may play a role in this type of fatigue. Patients with intermittent fatigue awake fit, but feel exhausted after a few hours of activity. Rest resolves this type of fatigue and patients can pick-up their activity for a few hours, after which they again become tired. Afternoon fatigue is present in patients who are fit in the morning but completely exhausted in the afternoon. Patients with this type of fatigue may feel as though they have influenza and wish only to go to bed."
Here is a link to this article on fatigue. http://www.ildcare.eu/Downloads/artseninfo/Sarcoidosis/Chapter%207%20Fatigue%20quality%20of%20life%20and%20health.pdf
I seem to suffer the most with the intermittent fatigue and sometimes afternoon fatigue. I wake up usually feeling great and after a couple hours can be totally tanked, rest for a few hours, get up again, get tanked, rest and this repeats over and over again. Since I have been sick these past few days I have woken up with extreme exhaustion and not be able to even get energy to do anything. I sure hope this all day fatigue passes soon and I can get back to the intermittent fatigue! Its actually much easier to deal with.
Today i am grateful for :
1. The ability to have only intermittent fatigue daily instead of all-day fatigue like I am currently experiencing with this cold.
2. Trying to have patience with myself when I am too sick to do anything
3. FInding peace and feeling good about myself even when I can't physically help others like I would like to.
4. Finding ways to share what I am learning with others through this blog
5 Hoping that I can help others in some way by sharing my thoughts, trials, and triumphs on this blog
Fatigue is real and can be a very devastating and daunting thing to deal with on a daily basis. Until you experience extreme fatigue I don't think you ever can really understand it. I know I never would have until going through it myself. I now have so much more compassion for someone who experiences it on a daily basis.
It is not just being tired all the time. It is an inner exhaustion that makes you feel like a limp wet noodle or like your limbs are jello. (haha) Since having this disease I have really tried to fight this fatigue thinking if I pushed through it that it would get better. I have found that this definitely does not work! When I try to push through it I find that I either flare myself up worse or end up in flat down in bed for hours. I am quite a stubborn person and love to be busy, busy, busy, but I have had to learn to not just listen to what my brain is telling me to go, go, go but rather listen to what my body is saying, which is to rest. When I do listen to my body I find that I can rest and gather some strength for later, or rather add some spoons to my day.
I have done some research on the fatigue that people with Sarcoidosis get and have recently learned that there are three different types. Learning about his helps me to better understand fatigue and try and listen to my body more.
"Sharma [9] postulated three different types of fatigue in sarcoidosis, i.e. early morning fatigue, intermittent fatigue and afternoon fatigue. Patients with early morning fatigue awake unrefreshed. They have difficulty getting out of bed, partly because of joint stiffness and/or muscle pain. Moreover, sleeping disorders (see later) may play a role in this type of fatigue. Patients with intermittent fatigue awake fit, but feel exhausted after a few hours of activity. Rest resolves this type of fatigue and patients can pick-up their activity for a few hours, after which they again become tired. Afternoon fatigue is present in patients who are fit in the morning but completely exhausted in the afternoon. Patients with this type of fatigue may feel as though they have influenza and wish only to go to bed."
Here is a link to this article on fatigue. http://www.ildcare.eu/Downloads/artseninfo/Sarcoidosis/Chapter%207%20Fatigue%20quality%20of%20life%20and%20health.pdf
I seem to suffer the most with the intermittent fatigue and sometimes afternoon fatigue. I wake up usually feeling great and after a couple hours can be totally tanked, rest for a few hours, get up again, get tanked, rest and this repeats over and over again. Since I have been sick these past few days I have woken up with extreme exhaustion and not be able to even get energy to do anything. I sure hope this all day fatigue passes soon and I can get back to the intermittent fatigue! Its actually much easier to deal with.
Today i am grateful for :
1. The ability to have only intermittent fatigue daily instead of all-day fatigue like I am currently experiencing with this cold.
2. Trying to have patience with myself when I am too sick to do anything
3. FInding peace and feeling good about myself even when I can't physically help others like I would like to.
4. Finding ways to share what I am learning with others through this blog
5 Hoping that I can help others in some way by sharing my thoughts, trials, and triumphs on this blog
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Getting Sick...
I came down with a cold this past week and I now can officially understand just how difficult having a cold or infection can be to a person whose immune system and lungs are already compromised.
I have been so blessed this entire winter to have not come down with a cold or the flu. I have tried really hard to avoid interaction with a lot of people due to my weakened immune system, but I know the Lord has blessed me so much these past few months.
This past winter my family would get sick and I would think I was going to catch it but I didn't. I was told by many different docs and specialists how hard it would be for me to fight off any type of sickness with this disease and not to mention how much it would flare my sarcs. They also reminded me that if I were to get bronchitis or pneumonia with Sarcs could land me into the hospital real quick. I was definitely worried about this but I felt so many prayers were answered this winter as I have been so fortunate to have stayed free from any additional infections until now.
So I feel very blessed to not get sick until just a few days ago. The weather is good and I am hopeful that this sickness will leave my body soon and not create any more complications for me. I know I must just trust the Lord and everything will be okay.
I am thankful for:
1. Not getting a cold or infection all winter until now
2. The opportunity to pray and ask for help daily
3. Knowing the Lord will hear and answer my prayers
4. Family who helps in every way they can
5. Visits from my Grandbaby that keeps me fighting!
I have been so blessed this entire winter to have not come down with a cold or the flu. I have tried really hard to avoid interaction with a lot of people due to my weakened immune system, but I know the Lord has blessed me so much these past few months.
This past winter my family would get sick and I would think I was going to catch it but I didn't. I was told by many different docs and specialists how hard it would be for me to fight off any type of sickness with this disease and not to mention how much it would flare my sarcs. They also reminded me that if I were to get bronchitis or pneumonia with Sarcs could land me into the hospital real quick. I was definitely worried about this but I felt so many prayers were answered this winter as I have been so fortunate to have stayed free from any additional infections until now.
So I feel very blessed to not get sick until just a few days ago. The weather is good and I am hopeful that this sickness will leave my body soon and not create any more complications for me. I know I must just trust the Lord and everything will be okay.
I am thankful for:
1. Not getting a cold or infection all winter until now
2. The opportunity to pray and ask for help daily
3. Knowing the Lord will hear and answer my prayers
4. Family who helps in every way they can
5. Visits from my Grandbaby that keeps me fighting!
Monday, March 10, 2014
Just Gratefull...
Today…..JUST GRATEFUL……
Today I am just grateful for these simple things:
1. My Savior
2. The sunshine
3. My family
4. Days when I feel good
5. What I find important on days when I don't feel so good.
Today I am just grateful for these simple things:
1. My Savior
2. The sunshine
3. My family
4. Days when I feel good
5. What I find important on days when I don't feel so good.
Sunday, March 9, 2014
He is the Way
Today was such a beautiful day. Daylight savings started today and I loved having it stay lighter longer I am so excited for warmer weather and for the beautiful sights and sounds of spring!
I was so excited to go to church today. I tried to save all the energy I had for today. I was able to make it to all but the last 15 minutes of the meeting due to the breathing issues and pain I was having. But I was very grateful for the time I had there.
I came home and tried to continue feeding my spirit by reading and watching conference talks on the mormonchannel.com and at lds.org.
I found this video that really touched my heart today and reminded me just how Christ knows everything we are going through. I realized that as I trust my Savior completely I can replace my fear with faith and find strength beyond my own. He has graven us upon the palms of his hands and knows what we suffer in all of our troubles and trials. He knows the way out and they way up because he has walked it and he is the way. With the Savior I know that I can not only endure but conquer whatever comes my way in this in this life.
)
Come unto Him
Saturday, March 8, 2014
Preserving Memories
What a beautiful day it was today! It totally feels like spring! So excited for this warm weather. My body really loves this temperature!
Shaniah's Lacrosse game was so awesome last night! She scored two goals and they won their first High School game of the season 9 to 3. I was so elated to be able to attend.
Last year I missed so many of their games due to me being on the steroids from this disease that made me so much worse. I am so determined this year to save all of the energy I have each day in order to make it to every Lacrosse and Baseball game of my two teens! I am so thankful for their talents and all the hard work they put in to do their very best. I am determined to not miss a game and be able to take pictures and videos like I have done every since they were little.
I love making slideshows videos of my kids and their sports. They love to go back and watch them. This gives me a great deal of joy watching them enjoying something I have created for them. It is a great way to preserve history and enjoy memories for years to come.
Landee came over today and played with Grandpa and I. We love playing and taking pictures with her.
Shaniah's Lacrosse game was so awesome last night! She scored two goals and they won their first High School game of the season 9 to 3. I was so elated to be able to attend.
Last year I missed so many of their games due to me being on the steroids from this disease that made me so much worse. I am so determined this year to save all of the energy I have each day in order to make it to every Lacrosse and Baseball game of my two teens! I am so thankful for their talents and all the hard work they put in to do their very best. I am determined to not miss a game and be able to take pictures and videos like I have done every since they were little.
I love making slideshows videos of my kids and their sports. They love to go back and watch them. This gives me a great deal of joy watching them enjoying something I have created for them. It is a great way to preserve history and enjoy memories for years to come.
Landee came over today and played with Grandpa and I. We love playing and taking pictures with her.
Landee loves to play!
SO CHUBBY!
PINCH ME…I AM CUTE
I WANT THAT PHONE
HI GRANDMA!
Landee loves playing with Tillee our black lab. She laughs when our dog licks her face.
SO SO CUTE!
Friday, March 7, 2014
Benefits of Laughing
Today I woke up a felt as if the flare was staring to subside. I was extremely excited but knew I had to save my spoons for my eye appt. and the two chiro appointments that I had today. Plus I wanted to be able to save all the energy I could for my daughters first Lacrosse High School season game tonight.
MORE GOOD NEWS…No Sarcs in the eyes today. After my eye appointment I took a picture of my dilated eyes and sent them to all of my kids and hubby. It was a funny way to tell them the good news. We all had a good laugh looking at my crazy eyes. I think laughter is the best medicine when going through tough things. My family especially loves to laugh when times get difficult.
Laughter is truly the best medicine and when we laugh we let go of all stress, pressure, and worry. I think sometimes we laugh so that we do not have to cry. We all need to to laugh and let go of all the stuff that tends to hold us down! When we laugh we all show how much we love one another as we find ways to make each other happy in even the most difficult of situations.
MORE GOOD NEWS…No Sarcs in the eyes today. After my eye appointment I took a picture of my dilated eyes and sent them to all of my kids and hubby. It was a funny way to tell them the good news. We all had a good laugh looking at my crazy eyes. I think laughter is the best medicine when going through tough things. My family especially loves to laugh when times get difficult.
JUST LAUGH!!! Its OKAY!
Laughter is truly the best medicine and when we laugh we let go of all stress, pressure, and worry. I think sometimes we laugh so that we do not have to cry. We all need to to laugh and let go of all the stuff that tends to hold us down! When we laugh we all show how much we love one another as we find ways to make each other happy in even the most difficult of situations.
Benefits of Laughing….JUST DO IT!!
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Pain Relief…from an Orange???
Tanked Thursday is what I would call today!
Yesterday after enduring so many tests my body sure rebelled and really flared up today. I knew it would catch up with me and late yesterday afternoon my head was on fire and my lungs were screaming back at me. Oh it is on these days that I just want to scream. It was very difficult to do or go anywhere today due to the flare. My daughter knew I was rough and made sure she came for a visit with my little Landee angel!
I knew I had to go to my two chiro appts. today and if I did I would find some relief . Once there I did find some pain relief. But the best pain relief I found today was when my grand baby Ireland came over today and ate oranges with me. It was so fun watching her eat an orange for the first time. Her silly faces and darling smile just completely took my pain away.
2. Her smiles that melted my heart
3. A cute tongue that made me laugh when she stuck it out!
4. Ireland sucking the orange so hard it stuck to her mouth.
5. Finding fun and happiness in little things today
Yesterday after enduring so many tests my body sure rebelled and really flared up today. I knew it would catch up with me and late yesterday afternoon my head was on fire and my lungs were screaming back at me. Oh it is on these days that I just want to scream. It was very difficult to do or go anywhere today due to the flare. My daughter knew I was rough and made sure she came for a visit with my little Landee angel!
I knew I had to go to my two chiro appts. today and if I did I would find some relief . Once there I did find some pain relief. But the best pain relief I found today was when my grand baby Ireland came over today and ate oranges with me. It was so fun watching her eat an orange for the first time. Her silly faces and darling smile just completely took my pain away.
Ireland made everything better today!
Pain relief…from an Orange..who would of thought??
Today I Found Gratitude in:
1. Enjoying a visit from Landee which took my pain away2. Her smiles that melted my heart
3. A cute tongue that made me laugh when she stuck it out!
4. Ireland sucking the orange so hard it stuck to her mouth.
5. Finding fun and happiness in little things today
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Tests, Tests, and more Tests.
Today I met with the pulmonologist from the U of U. I was referred to her as she is the Sarcoidosis specialist in Utah. I have been looking so forward to finding out what new alternatives there are for this disease as well as having someone who knows a great deal of how to monitor and track the progress and determine remission of Sarcs.
I did not realized just how many tests that she would ask me to do today. I spent an hour doing painful extensive breathing tests, and then on to an EKG, and ECHO for my heart. Dr. Scholand ran a great deal of blood tests and wants me to be checked for several other conditions that go along with sarcs. She wants my eyes checked, my skin biopsied for sarcs and small fiber neuropathy, and a sleep test for sleep apnea. According to all of my additional symptoms I have been having these past few months she wants to get a baseline for where my body is at in this disease and to see if other additional problems are adding to the problem.
She also suggested I think about a MRI of the brain to check for Neurosarcs due to the migraines I am getting weekly. I told her about all the supplements, hormones, and chiropractics that I have been doing. I also expressed to her how steroids made me so much worse when I took them over a year ago. She agreed and said once my tests were completed we will make a plan of action and meet again.
The one VERY GOOD NEWS I received today after my breathing tests were completed that I was able to raise them up slightly higher than they were 7 months ago. This was so exciting and I attribute this to the adjustments which I can feel that helps me breathe better.
Although I spent the entire day at the hospital running tests, and then on to the chiropractor I was very happy knowing I had finally found a doctor that would be able to run tests on the organs in my body that could be affected by sarcs. How grateful I am to be led to find her and how thankful I am for her willingness to be open to accepting me to use more natural treatments and allow my body to heal itself. She will monitor and track my progress or regress of this disease and then offer alternative treatments if needed.
Today I found gratitude in;
1. Being patient for over two months in order to see this specialist
2. Technology that allows us to see inside the human body
3. THE GOOD NEWS I received today…. BREATHING IS BETTER
4. My sweet mom who went with me and stayed with me through all of the tests..
Thanks mom, I love you!
5. Family who celebrated with my good news with me!
I did not realized just how many tests that she would ask me to do today. I spent an hour doing painful extensive breathing tests, and then on to an EKG, and ECHO for my heart. Dr. Scholand ran a great deal of blood tests and wants me to be checked for several other conditions that go along with sarcs. She wants my eyes checked, my skin biopsied for sarcs and small fiber neuropathy, and a sleep test for sleep apnea. According to all of my additional symptoms I have been having these past few months she wants to get a baseline for where my body is at in this disease and to see if other additional problems are adding to the problem.
She also suggested I think about a MRI of the brain to check for Neurosarcs due to the migraines I am getting weekly. I told her about all the supplements, hormones, and chiropractics that I have been doing. I also expressed to her how steroids made me so much worse when I took them over a year ago. She agreed and said once my tests were completed we will make a plan of action and meet again.
The one VERY GOOD NEWS I received today after my breathing tests were completed that I was able to raise them up slightly higher than they were 7 months ago. This was so exciting and I attribute this to the adjustments which I can feel that helps me breathe better.
Although I spent the entire day at the hospital running tests, and then on to the chiropractor I was very happy knowing I had finally found a doctor that would be able to run tests on the organs in my body that could be affected by sarcs. How grateful I am to be led to find her and how thankful I am for her willingness to be open to accepting me to use more natural treatments and allow my body to heal itself. She will monitor and track my progress or regress of this disease and then offer alternative treatments if needed.
Today I found gratitude in;
1. Being patient for over two months in order to see this specialist
2. Technology that allows us to see inside the human body
3. THE GOOD NEWS I received today…. BREATHING IS BETTER
4. My sweet mom who went with me and stayed with me through all of the tests..
Thanks mom, I love you!
5. Family who celebrated with my good news with me!
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Happiness is a Journey
Today this quote really touched my heart. Spending all your time and energy going to doctor visits twice a day can really take a toll on you and your body both mentally and physically. Not only is it difficult to have to rely on your hubby, mom, or kids to take you to these appointments each day, but can also be very frustrating when it seems to take up your entire daily life.
Today I realized that happiness is not found in what we accomplish daily nor is it what we busy ourselves daily to reach. Happiness is so much more, it is finding joy in journey, peace in the process, and love for the little things. I used to think that my happiness would be based upon what I achieved or accomplished in my life. I used to strive to do everything and be everywhere for everyone. I am learning that all we need to be happy is each other. All we need is a happy smiling heart that radiates love to one other. Not being able to do the million busy tasks daily have really made me sit back and enjoy the tiny moments that seem to melt my heart. Spending time with my family, talking, laughing, and just plain having fun with them is truly where my happiness begins and ends.
Monday, March 3, 2014
Hold On..God Knows What He is Doing.
Today I could not wait to get in to see my chiropractor. I had went two days without an adjustment and my body was really tanking. After my two adjustments today I felt as if I could take a full breath again. It was so awesome to regain some of my regular energy again. Although I still felt a lot of pain and pressure from the weekend it was great to see such change today.
After going without the chiropractor for two days and then seeing such a change once I had the adjustments made me really see just how important going to these two appointments daily are for me.
It made me realize I must not give up and I must hold on and trust God's will and in his due time my body will align and begin to heal itself from the inside out.
2. Never giving up no matter how hard the battle.
3. Staying positive even when you feel you can't.
4. Finding strength from others who can lift you when your down.
5. Having hope that helps sustain me through whatever comes my way.
After going without the chiropractor for two days and then seeing such a change once I had the adjustments made me really see just how important going to these two appointments daily are for me.
It made me realize I must not give up and I must hold on and trust God's will and in his due time my body will align and begin to heal itself from the inside out.
Today I found Gratitude in:
1. Holding on to Gods will.2. Never giving up no matter how hard the battle.
3. Staying positive even when you feel you can't.
4. Finding strength from others who can lift you when your down.
5. Having hope that helps sustain me through whatever comes my way.
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Only One Body….Take Good Care of It
We drove home from Nevada today. It was so awesome to be able to enjoy warm weather with my hubby and daughter. I really loved watching Shaniah play lacrosse with a bunch of girls that display such a great deal of team work.
As we were driving home, I finally understood why my chiropractor was worried about me going this weekend and why she told me to take it slow.
When we drove down on Friday I could feel the elevation changes slightly. I felt additional pain and pressure in my lungs but really not too bad and we only had to stop a couple times.
On the way home today in between Nevada and Cedar City, I really felt it. I did not understand what was going on at the time but I felt like my 90lb. dog was sitting on my chest as I lay in the back seat of our truck. I really struggled getting my air, was extremely tired and lightheaded. I had my hubby pull over at a rest stop just before Cedar City. I thought that would help. It did not so I told him just go fast and lets try to get to a better elevation. It took about 20 minutes before I started to level out.
When things started to calm down in my lungs and I could breathe better I started to look up the elevation on my phone. I found out that where I live in Utah is 4400' above sea level and where we stayed in Nevada was 2100'. On our way down my blood had plenty of red blood cells to accommodate my oxygen level. But as we came back home, especially through St. George and Cedar City where the elevation peaked at 5600' is where I felt I could not get my breath. I realized that my body needed more red blood cells to keep up with the elevation changed and did not produce them fast enough to catch up with the elevation changes. I read up on others who had Sarcs and found out that our bodies have a hard time adjusting to elevation changes so quickly due to the granulomas taking up space in our lungs.
Today I realized just how much I have taken the simple fact of breathing for granite. Struggling to breathe today made me so thankful for our bodies and what they can do without us even thinking about it. It wasn't until today that I realized just how amazing our body's are and how lucky I have been over the past few years to have such a healthy body. Today I promised to never take what my body can do for granite ever again. Having this disease has reminded me that we only have one physical body and that we must do everything in our power to take good care of it.
Today I found gratitude in:
1. Our physical body given to us from the Lord and its ability to breathe so effortlessly
2. Being able to realize just how blessed I am today.
3. My hubby and daughters love for me as we drove home.
4. Answers to prayers that came when I really needed them.
5. Our safe arrival home after a long, long, car ride.
As we were driving home, I finally understood why my chiropractor was worried about me going this weekend and why she told me to take it slow.
When we drove down on Friday I could feel the elevation changes slightly. I felt additional pain and pressure in my lungs but really not too bad and we only had to stop a couple times.
On the way home today in between Nevada and Cedar City, I really felt it. I did not understand what was going on at the time but I felt like my 90lb. dog was sitting on my chest as I lay in the back seat of our truck. I really struggled getting my air, was extremely tired and lightheaded. I had my hubby pull over at a rest stop just before Cedar City. I thought that would help. It did not so I told him just go fast and lets try to get to a better elevation. It took about 20 minutes before I started to level out.
When things started to calm down in my lungs and I could breathe better I started to look up the elevation on my phone. I found out that where I live in Utah is 4400' above sea level and where we stayed in Nevada was 2100'. On our way down my blood had plenty of red blood cells to accommodate my oxygen level. But as we came back home, especially through St. George and Cedar City where the elevation peaked at 5600' is where I felt I could not get my breath. I realized that my body needed more red blood cells to keep up with the elevation changed and did not produce them fast enough to catch up with the elevation changes. I read up on others who had Sarcs and found out that our bodies have a hard time adjusting to elevation changes so quickly due to the granulomas taking up space in our lungs.
Today I realized just how much I have taken the simple fact of breathing for granite. Struggling to breathe today made me so thankful for our bodies and what they can do without us even thinking about it. It wasn't until today that I realized just how amazing our body's are and how lucky I have been over the past few years to have such a healthy body. Today I promised to never take what my body can do for granite ever again. Having this disease has reminded me that we only have one physical body and that we must do everything in our power to take good care of it.
Today I found gratitude in:
1. Our physical body given to us from the Lord and its ability to breathe so effortlessly
2. Being able to realize just how blessed I am today.
3. My hubby and daughters love for me as we drove home.
4. Answers to prayers that came when I really needed them.
5. Our safe arrival home after a long, long, car ride.
Saturday, March 1, 2014
So Thankful for Niah!
The girls played another great day of Lacrosse. Two more games today and the team has went undefeated. I am so proud of Shaniah and how hard she has worked this past year with all the turmoil at home. She has really grown a lot over these past few months both physically and emotionally. She has had to deal with things that the normal teen does not have to deal with. She has told me that it is really hard for her having to worry and watch her mom be sick. When she told me this it truly broke my heart. I really did not understand just how hard my disease can be on the ones ya love. I hate that my family has to worry about this. I tell them I am a tough old bird and will be just fine. But I am now seeing just how this trial is helping us all grow in ways that without it we never would have.
Shaniah has had to pick up the slack and really give of her self unselfishly. I have seen true growth in her life for the good. She is not the same and has truly become a loving, giving, daughter through all of this. We still have difficult days but she is always the one reminding me to not eat gluten, dairy, or eggs, and is always my little voice in my head to not do things that would cause me to over-do and flare. She always say; "Mom, don't do it…its just not worth the flare." I am so thankful for another strong woman in my life that reminds me to take care of myself so that I can be there for when she needs me.
I really am thankful for this teen of mine! She is growing leaps and bounds and I am so proud to call her mine!
Shaniah has had to pick up the slack and really give of her self unselfishly. I have seen true growth in her life for the good. She is not the same and has truly become a loving, giving, daughter through all of this. We still have difficult days but she is always the one reminding me to not eat gluten, dairy, or eggs, and is always my little voice in my head to not do things that would cause me to over-do and flare. She always say; "Mom, don't do it…its just not worth the flare." I am so thankful for another strong woman in my life that reminds me to take care of myself so that I can be there for when she needs me.
I really am thankful for this teen of mine! She is growing leaps and bounds and I am so proud to call her mine!
Lacrosse is Life…or so she says!!
MY SWEET SHANIAH!
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